Lady Wanderlust

The Stalker

2008-01-30T02:01:00.000-05:00

My husband found a Nova Usagi cell phone charm when he was taking out the trash today. The Usagi is a cross between a pink rabbit and a bird and was Nova's mascot for years. Every branch had dozens of Usagi items for sale, although no one ever seemed to buy them when I was there.

I've only seen the Usagi in Japan. I searched Ebay to see if there are underground Usagi collectors in America, but only one user listed anything and he or she lives in Japan. So how in the hell did a Nova Usagi cell phone charm (I assume it's a charm) find its way to a Tampa, FL parking lot? And what are the odds a former Nova employee would find it? Very mysterious.

It's stalking us.

The Traveling License Plates

2008-01-27T16:14:00.001-05:00

In Japan, my husband and I used to visit an American hamburger joint called Oatman's whenever we got a craving for familiar food. Named after a Route 66 tourist attraction, Oatman's serves great burgers not unlike ones you'd find in the States. This is unusual for Japan, as many other restaurants serving foreign food often destroy it by putting raw eggs, mayonnaise or other strange ingredients on top. For example, this is what they've done to Pizza Hunt pizza.....

To create a vintage American feel, the owners of Oatman's have decorated the entire restaurant with old advertisements, products and license plates from the United States. There are plastic Hamburglar toys, old concert posters and license plates from the '80s. The license plates are fake, there is a sticker from a novelty shop where the annual registration one should be, and this gave my husband and I an idea. We had a stack of our own old license plates at home, (I often had to forbid my husband from hanging them on the walls in our apartment) why not send them to Japan for display at one of our favorite hangouts? That way Oatman's would have authentic license plates from former customers and we'd be able to leave our mark in Japan, in a small, humorous way. So that is what we did. We had to wait until we moved back to the United States to find the plates, but we eventually located them and I sent them to an old student of mine who lives near the restaurant. She delivered the plates a few days ago. Thanks Tomomi! This is the picture she sent back as photographic evidence...

She says the owner wasn't in when she delivered the plates, but that the staff assured her they'd put them up soon. I'm not sure why, but my husband and I find the idea of our old license plates hanging in a restaurant near Tokyo wildly amusing. It doesn't take much.

Back in Black

2007-11-16T08:27:00.000-05:00

We're back. And my lord that was a long trip! 26 hours from our Japanese apartment to my brother-in-law's condo in Greenville, SC. On the last leg of our trip our flight was delayed two hours because the toilet wouldn't flush. This following a five hour layover following a ten hour flight. You gotta love air travel sometimes.

But we're back and it's good. I've enjoyed several little things that most Americans wouldn't think twice about. For example, a Route 44 Vanilla Dr. Pepper from Sonic, Judge Judy and Cops on TV, children speaking English. Even the obnoxious car commercials on the radio give me warm, fuzzy feelings (NO PAYMENTS UNTIL 2008!!!) I guess I missed America more than I thought.

So now is when we start to get our lives back together, i.e. jobs, cars, our own place. Right now we're staying at my in-laws' sweet beach house, which is nice, and they're giving us a car which is even nicer, so our main objective now is to find jobs. We're planning to live in either Charleston, SC or Tampa, FL, depending on where we can find the best jobs. Which means we'll probably end up in Tampa because unless one wants to work in hospitality the job market in Charleston leaves much to be desired. Anybody have any connections?

Sayonora...

2007-11-12T02:34:00.000-05:00

Well, it's over. We've attended our farewell parties, said our goodbyes and packed (most of) our things. Tonight is our last night in Japan and this will be the last blog entry I write in the country. We've made some great friends from around the world and have had many unforgettable experiences. My husband and I will never forget our time here.

Goodbye Japan.

Goodbye young, Japanese guys with big hair.
Goodbye wild, all-you-can-drink karaoke nights.
Goodbye green haired old ladies.
Goodbye to the phrase "go to shopping."
Goodbye ridiculous television.
Goodbye bathroom slippers in public restrooms.
Goodbye street beers.
Goodbye fish head, raw sea urchin, fried cartilage, raw horse meat sushi and other terrifying foods.
Goodbye balcony view of Mt. Fuji.
Goodbye sushi carousels.
Goodbye singing songs about triangles to uninterested two-year-olds.
Goodbye server summoning buttons.
Goodbye not having to tip for everything. Or anything.
Goodbye to instantly standing out in a crowd.
Goodbye random earthquakes.
Goodbye blatant stares from children, old people and other random people.
Goodbye to living thirty minutes from one of the world's largest and most exciting cities.
Goodbye polite government office workers.
Goodbye beer and cigarette vending machines.
Goodbye crazy students who say bizarre things.
Goodbye to not being able to say, understand or read anything.
Goodbye school girls and young women with shockingly short skirts.
Goodbye foreign guys who think they are far better better looking than they are because they are able to get attractive, Japanese girlfriends.
Goodbye deafening pachinko venues.
Goodbye to riding the train everywhere.
Goodbye signs and clothing with ridiculous English words and phrases.
Goodbye 1984ish, city-wide announcements and songs blaring from community speakers.
Goodbye cutesy mascots for everything from English schools to tourist attractions to butter.
Goodbye creepy train perverts.
Goodbye creepy train suicides.
Goodbye to being a professional English speaker (and entertainer).
Goodbye food theme park based around monocle sporting cats.
Goodbye high-tech cell phones.
Goodbye futons, to not having central heating or air and a nationwide absence of clothes dryers.
Goodbye corn, mayonnaise, raw egg, potato, sausage, little wiener and seaweed pizza.
Goodbye astonishing politeness.
Goodbye Dancing Days song on educational TV.
Goodbye surprisingly low crime rate.

Goodbye students.
Goodbye friends.
Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.

I will continue this blog once I'm back in the States, for those who've asked. Thanks for reading! I like comments too!

Japan: A Nine Month Review in Photos

2007-11-10T19:01:00.000-05:00

Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil, See No Evil

Eating at Big

Temple in Nikko

Sumo!

Safety First

One of My Least Favorite Lessons

I React to a Gift From Eriko, My Husband's Branch Manager

Making a New Friend

Fun at the River

Prayers

A Temple Somewhere in Tokyo

View of Mt Fuji From Our Balcony

I'll Miss This Karaoke Place

My Husband and I With Random Japanese Guys Who Dragged Us Into Their Karaoke Room

If Only Nova Had Hired My Husband to Do PR...

Cherry Blossoms!

My Husband Poses in Asakusa

Side View of Our Apartment Building, or Mansion, as the Japanese Say

Me

Dinner

Karoake Hijinx

Waiting for First Train

Young Love

Tick...Tock...

2007-11-07T10:02:00.000-05:00

Five days until we go back home. I wish I could say my husband and I are living it up, doing everything we always meant to do before leaving Japan, but that's simply not true. We have absolutely no money and have spent most of our days going to bed at 3, sleeping in until 12:30 and sitting in our apartment doing nothing. My husband took out a credit card advance today and we used some of that money to buy food, drink beer in the park and sing karaoke one last time. Pathetic I know. PS: doing nothing is not nearly as appealing as it sounds.

Nova found a new sponsor yesterday and that sponsor plans to reopen 30 (out of 600+) schools. Eventually the sponsor hopes to open up to 200 branches, but they have said they will not honor student credits or pay unpaid teachers' salaries. My husband called Nova's former Head Office today and the representative told him that if we officially resign we forgo our chances of claiming our unpaid wages (2 months worth!) from the government, yet we cannot currently pursue those wages because Nova has not officially declared bankruptcy. What the hell?! I am thoroughly sick of this situation.

I'm sure I'll miss Japan when we're back in the States, but right now I want nothing more than to go back home and get on with my life. I am ready to move on.

I'm Officially Coming Home

2007-11-04T03:25:00.000-05:00

We've purchased our plane tickets and will be back in the States on Tuesday, November 13th. I am excited to see my cats and my friends and family again, but bummed that I won't be able to do much my last week in Japan due to a serious lack of funds. Rumors are still flying around that Nova has found a sponsor and that a few branches will be opening again, but I'm over all of the speculation. Time to find a 'real' job in the States again and time to start drinking less...

Bankruptcy, Thailand

2007-10-31T01:21:00.000-05:00

So after two packed flights, an eight hour layover in Bangkok and endless rides on three Tokyo train lines, my husband and I are finally back at our apartment. There wasn't an eviction notice on the door, and for that I am grateful. While were on vacation, Nova officially declared bankruptcy and now the government is busy searching for sponsors, i.e. buyers, leaving the former Japanese staff and foreign teachers with nothing to do but wait and hope for reimbursement of wages and/or the company to revive under new management. As my husband and I have literally no money to live on, we'll probably be returning to America in the next week or two and that's fine. We've been in Japan going on nine months and are content to come home early to our cats and American TV and native English and blending easily in a crowd and to not being gaijin. We won't have jobs, cars or a place to live that doesn't involve my husband's parents, but that's more or less true of our situation in Japan anyway.

Thailand was good, but it rained every single day. We didn't see the unclouded sun once on our vacation. However, we still got decent tans and were able to enjoy the beach and other outdoor activities between downpours. My favorite activity was probably the snorkeling/sight seeing trip around islands thirty miles off the coast of Thailand. If you've seen the new King Kong movie, the islands kind of looked like that, complete with soaring cliffs, thick tropical forests and monkeys. It rained practically all day and a few of the people in our group were determined to be miserable, but I really enjoyed the exoticness of it.

Another memorable activity was the ping pong show. Although ping pong ball ejection was the least impressive talent demonstrated that night. I didn't believe such things truly existed, but they do.

Tales From Impending Bankruptcy

2007-10-19T09:15:00.000-05:00

We didn't get paid. How not surprising. There's been no new fax or scheduled pay date. The regional manager did tour the various branches on the local line and spin tales of savior investors and/or business deals. Deals that will allegedly transpire if we can just hold out a little longer. I can't say I have believe him. I'm beyond cynical.

Here is food our branch manager's boyfriend bought us because he knows we haven't been paid and can't afford to eat well.

Here is the schedule for tomorrow. For some reason, I'm still on the schedule even though the staff knows I won't be coming. Some poor Help teacher is going to get five kids classes in a row. Eeek! My branch could easily keep four to five teachers busy on a weekend, but this week there will be only one teacher. If they're lucky.

I can't wait to go to Thailand. Only three more days.

I'll Be Home For Christmas (or Thanksgiving)?

2007-10-16T23:10:00.000-05:00

Nearly a month ago, I wrote a post detailing the massive problems my employer Nova is facing and the possibility that my husband and I might be returning to the United States earlier than expected. Well, nothing has changed and if fact the situation is even worse. I am fairly confident that we'll be back in the States next month.

Last month teacher trainers, teachers outside greater Tokyo/Osaka and Japanese staff members were paid, at minimum, 10 days late. After everyone was finally paid the CEO sent a fax saying the dark clouds were finally lifting, that there would be no salary concerns in October and that everyone should concentrate on business as usual.

Flash forward to October. Surprise, surprise there ARE salary concerns. Big ones. With the exception of a few Japanese part-timers, Nova has been unable to pay anyone. That's thousands of people, from foreign instructors and central personnel to Japanese staff members. The Japanese staff was supposed to be paid on September 27th, foreign instructors on October 15th. Everyone is now "scheduled" to be paid on Friday, October 19th. I have no idea how a company that is unable to pay rent and garbage bills at some branches is going to find such a massive amount of money in four days. And then Japanese staff is due to be paid again on October 27th, eight days later!

Almost no one expects to be paid on Friday, and when they aren't a ridiculous amount of instructors will call in sick and/or resign. A huge number of instructors and top executive types resigned after the last salary fiasco and even more are bailing now. In September my branch had seven teachers and now we only have three which is not enough to cover the demand. There isn't even the hope of bringing in fresh meat. The Australian consulate announced that Nova is going under and urged Australians to make contingency plans. A Nova recruiting agency in America told new recruits they could no longer secure housing and urged them to delay their departure until at least December. An Australian agency that has recruited for Nova for years refuses to do so anymore. Meanwhile, instructors all over the country are getting eviction notices because Nova took money from their paychecks but didn't pass it on to the landlords. I can't imagine a more dismal situation.

Nova has made some kind of strange, seemingly shady deal with a couple of offshore companies that I don't understand enough to explain, but it's of little comfort to most employees. The guy who was assumed to have made the deal for Nova has recently been arrested for stock fraud. Even if the deal did result in a significant cash injection, the earliest this injection could arrive would be October 25th and I think it may be too late for Nova by then. Seeing as more and more people are being paid late each month, despite company promises to the contrary, I think most teachers will find another job or go home. My husband and I certainly can't afford to stay in Japan without regular paychecks. Last month, we transferred a bunch of money home to pay off my credit card and to pay for our upcoming Thailand vacation and I now have literally 578 yen to my name. Seriously. We'll be living off our American funds until our next check, assuming it ever arrives. I have my doubts.

Sadly, many students seem completely unaware of the dire situation and my branch even had a sales visitor the other day. We're technically forbidden from saying anything, but I feel obligated to be honest with students if they ask. I haven't discussed it in class or anything, though I sometimes feel I should. They stand to lose hundreds, if not thousands of dollars if/when Nova goes under.

My husband and I plan to go into work on Thursday and Friday, but if we're not paid on Friday I doubt we'll work on the weekend. I feel guilty because that means the staff will have to cancel several classes and spend all day apologizing, especially as there is the possibility that no teachers will show up at my branch, but I am not comfortable working for one month's check when I haven't even been paid for the last and there is a real possibility I won't ever see another yen. That and my train pass has expired, I haven't been reimbursed for last month's pass, I don't have the money to renew it and I don't want to pay 600 yen a day to get to work and back.

If you were me would you go?

Japanese Sensory Delights

2007-10-07T06:39:00.000-05:00

Below are just a few of the memorable, sensory delights that Japan has to offer....

Sight

Nothing says class and sophistication like boxes of cigarettes bobbing in an aquarium.

When being brown just isn't enough.

Girls for sale

Get little Kenichiro his very own Sheep Animal Girls plaything! Available in your local toy department.

Taste:

You scream, I scream, we all scream at the shark and snake flavored ice cream!

The ice cream man never sold flavors quite like this.

A burger just isn't a burger unless it oozes black sludge.

And a pizza just isn't a pizza unless it has 75 ingredients.

Open container my ass!

Who doesn't want to eat Hello Kitty's plump, juicy wieners?

After all, she's got your back.

Smell:

Sweet Smell Aroma Fashion. I wouldn't have my aroma fashion any other way!

Sound

There is no sound like the sound of drunk Japanese guys singing J-pop classics.

Other

Who the hell needs arms and legs?

Because sometimes you really need to harass somebody!

Kancho!

2007-10-01T22:40:00.000-05:00

Japan is internationally known for its bizarre crazes, but few people outside The Land of the Rising Sun have heard of the kancho. According to Wikipedia, kancho is "the act of clasping the hands together so the index fingers are pointing out and attempting to insert them sharply into someone's anal region when the victim is not looking." Yes, you read that correctly...

(Photo lifted from Kancho.org)

The kancho is performed almost exclusively by Japanese school boys, who apparently think it's hilarious and not at all homoerotic. In Japan, the kancho is viewed as a harmless, childish prank and thankfully one doesn't see adult men and women kanchoing each other in public, unless it's drunken foreigners mocking the tradition. I must admit, I have (lovingly) kanchoed my husband on an escalator a few times.

While the kancho is not as popular as it once was, instructors must be on guard at all times while teaching kids' classes. I have not personally experienced the sting of the kancho, but my trainer fell prey one fateful afternoon and felt violated for hours afterwards. When pressed for details, i.e. how hard and how deep, he refused to discuss the experience. The man seemed truly traumatized. A ten-year-old boy once tried to kancho my husband, but was not successful, so the boy kanchoed another student and the two then tried to grab each other's balls for the rest of the class period.

There are some things about Japan that I will never understand.

In the West, we have the wedgie, in the East they have the kancho. I personally, would much rather have underwear shoved up my crack than someone's fingers, but that's just me. Which do you think is worse? What would you do if a child unexpectedly kanchoed you? Discuss...

An Early Homecoming?

2007-09-25T01:56:00.000-05:00

***I now CAN vouch for the truth of #5, because it's happening to our friend. See below. It's such BS!***

Wild rumors abound about the financial state of my employer and I am beginning to seriously wonder if my husband and I will be coming home early.

Our employer, Nova, has had serious financial problems for some time, and may now be bordering on bankruptcy. Immediately before we came, a handful of teachers were arrested in a minor drug scandal, (two of whom came from my branch) triggering a flood of negative press. In addition, Nova has fought, and lost, a number of student lawsuits regarding allegedly dishonest cancellation and refund policies, causing the Japanese government to suspend part of their operations. The suspension currently prevents the company from offering long term contracts, which is supposedly where the majority of company profits derive from.

There are a number of online message boards claiming that Nova is going under and will be completely bankrupt in the coming weeks or months. At first I scoffed at this idea, because they are always making such claims, but now I'm not so sure. The past two weeks have brought a series of strange, foreboding events that are difficult to dismiss. For example:

1. Teachers outside the Tokyo and Osaka metro areas were paid late this month, and trainers (teachers who train other teachers) have not been paid at all. Their pay is currently ten days late. The powers that be keep pushing the pay date back, and so far they've changed it four or five times. Needless to say, the trainers are furious and many have supposedly resigned, although none in my area have. The CEO has sent a couple of faxes, but none of them say why the pay has been delayed. In one fax he claimed that prospects look brighter for next month, that it is always darkest before dawn, and to carry on business as usual, blah, blah, blah. I've never seen a vaguer statement.

2. New teachers normally receive pay advances to help them make ends meet until they receive their first paycheck. This isn't available anymore.

3. The company is closing anywhere between 50-200 schools. Sadly, I know this not because they announced it to their employees but because I read it in the news. The lack of communication from head office is appalling.

4. A company recruiter presented three choices to a new recruit scheduled to come to Japan. The choices were to come to Japan and hope for the best, to resign before coming over, or to wait until October 16th "to see what happens." October 16th happens to be the day after payday. I know this because a new teacher started at my branch this week and his friend is the new recruit. He still came though.

5. I've read on message boards that a few teachers have been evicted from their apartments because Nova didn't pay the rent. If true, that is the most infuriating thing I've ever heard because the company deducts rent from the teacher's monthly check and charges nearly double. I've also read that Nova has been evicted from office buildings for not paying the rent.

**Edit: Unbelievably, this is true. Our friend and his two roomates found on eviction notice on their door yesterday stating they had seven days to leave! The company has been withdrawing rent money from their paychecks, but hasn't payed the landlord in god knows how long! The tenants don't know what they're going to do yet. In perhaps the most hypocritical move of all time, the company has kept our friend on probaation because he was late twice. Ha ha ha ha! If this happens to my husband and I, I'm going to sit outside my branch and tell everyone coming in what happened. I'm scared!**

If something does happen to the company, my husband and I will happily come home early or possibly draw Japanese unemployment (how strange would that be). However, I would feel terrible for our students and for the new teachers and staff members.

What do you think? Are we coming home early? October 16th is D-Day I guess.

If you're interested, click here for a recent news story about the situation.

Dorky Video Tour of Our Apartment

2007-09-22T08:34:00.000-05:00

Below is a video my husband and I put together when we first arrived in Japan. I realize that we make a lot of inaccurate statements, but remember it was our first month or so in the country.

"Take This Job and Shove It:" A Concept Foreign to Japan

2007-09-22T05:52:00.000-05:00

A handful of Japanese staff members have recently told me that they tried to quit their jobs at our company, but couldn't. Your reaction, like mine, is probably:

"What do you mean, they tried to quit their jobs?"

What seems like a simple process to foreigners, i.e. putting in notice, working the designated remainder of time and then not coming to work anymore, is apparently not so simple to Japanese people, or at least not so simple for those working at my company.

It seems the Japanese staff members contacted upper management to put in their notice and were somehow guilted or bullied into working three or four months longer than they'd intended. The management tossed around threats of bonus cancellations, accusations of company disloyalty and other unfair nonsense, nonsense that was apparently successful as at least two of the staff members still work for the company. An employee who tried to quit a part-time position at my husband's branch three months ago, now works full-time and serves as a temporary manager. She is supposedly still trying to quit.

I really don't get the crazy Japanese work ethic sometimes. That, and their penchant for jumping in front of Express trains.

Is this "trying to quit" a Japanese thing or a phenomenon found only at my company?

Ironically, our company is currently having financial "difficulties," and employees (both Japanese and foreign) will be lucky to receive their regular wages on time (or at all) next month, much less bonuses. But that's a completely different blog post...

Vacation Bitch Rant and It's a Small World

2007-09-11T00:58:00.000-05:00

*Rant about my brother-in-law and husband's friend deleted in a fit of guilt and paranoia *

In perhaps the strangest case of It's a Small World, one of my blog reader's Bloom in Japan not only lives down the street from me now, but will be working at my branch. I assume he found my blog when researching Japan, but who knew he'd be placed so near.

5 Weird Facts About Me

2007-09-04T02:07:00.000-05:00

Months and months ago, Random Musings of My Life tagged me with a 5 Things meme (that's what they're called right, memes?) but I didn't notice until now. So here it is. Better late than never!

1. Until I was twelve or thirteen, I swallowed rather than spit when I brushed my teeth. Eventually I got scared by the warnings on tubes of toothpaste and finally broke the habit. It sounds disgusting now, but at the time spitting seemed disgusting to me.

2. Despite the fact that I failed my first driving test for the following reason, it took months of post-license driving for me to figure out that one is supposed to yield at a green traffic before turning left. It didn't click until my friend shrieked this information, after a near miss at a traffic light.

3. I used to have an imaginary friend that I could only see in the mirrors above the vegetables at grocery stores. Every time I went shopping with my mother, I'd look up at the mirrors and have an inner dialogue with my non-existent girl friend. A few times I tried to pretend I could see her in the shower door mirror at my grandparent's house, but it didn't feel right, so I quit. I haven't said hello to her in awhile. I wonder if she's in Japan.

4. I love ketchup and have no problem sucking it out of packets. This is most common on road trips, when I'm eating fast food and have no convenient object to squirt it on. I also like ketchup on potatoes, crab cakes, beef, chicken, pork, various vegetables, etc.

5. I sometimes have strange, nonsensical ideas about things. For example, I used to be certain that a person's age resided in his or her knee. It wasn't anything physical, for example a creaky knee belonging to an old person, but rather the idea that the number itself, invisible of course, lurked beneath the surface of the knee. I imagined that on every birthday the old number flew out and the new one flew in. Sounds crazy I know. I also occasionally compare taste to strange things. For example, I once quit drinking a frozen pina colada because the taste reminded me of a head concussion, and in the past I wouldn't drink Guinness beer because I thought it tasted like dirt and grass.

Alcoholism Anyone?

2007-09-01T06:37:00.000-05:00

Japanese girl I just met in a bar/restaurant:

"I think you are strange because you drink so much beer."

Different Japanese girl in a different bar/restaurant:

"You can drink a lot can't you?"

Japanese man in bar/restaurant, as gleaned from his broken English and friend's translation:

"Ladies usually drink from small glasses, not from the huge mug you're holding."

Student in a conversation about free time activities:

"I think you are probably strong drinker."

Blonds Be Damned!

2007-08-27T15:55:00.000-05:00

Strolling into work today, I noticed this poster pasted to the window. Notice anything unusual?

My first reaction was "Holy Shit! They're all blond." My second reaction was "Gee willickers! They're all white."

Ironically, I've met more non-Caucasian teachers here than I have blond ones, and needless to say the poster is not an accurate representation of the company's teachers. But, as you may remember from this post, blonds are popular here in Japan, so I suppose it benefits them to uphold the stereotype that foreigners are primarily blue-eyed blonds. Still, it's annoying.

Here is my reaction....

Wacky 100 Yen Treasures

2007-08-16T23:38:00.001-05:00

Got Milk?

On this classic drinking glass entitled Milk, we see six streams of milk spewing forth from the swollen teats of a mother cow. Scattered beneath the abundant streams are four calves, each with equally swollen udders. Whether they are racing to feed, or attempting to escape death by drowning is anyone's guess. Is it just me or does the mother cow look like an alien spacecraft and the milk streams like incinerating death rays? Kind of like those things on War of the Worlds. Now if only there was a mini Tom Cruise....

The Chicken or the Egg?

Speaking of farm animal products, here we see the sad fate of your average egg. I'm surprised there isn't a fifth picture of an egg atop pizza, a hamburger or some other innocent food, as Japanese people seem to love putting eggs, usually raw, on top of EVERYTHING. But really, if you think about it, chicken embryos are disgusting things to eat, regardless of whether they're scrambled or eaten raw on pizza.

It's a Boob!

I think these pictures speak for themselves.

Whoooaaah! We're Halfway There!

2007-08-15T03:07:00.000-05:00

Tuesday, August 14th marked our sixth month anniversary in Japan. Six more to go before we return to America. I'm not eager to leave, but it will be nice to return home to our cats and to native English and to Taco Bell. What can I say, it's the classy things I miss, like 89 cent bean burritos and sugar free Red Bulls.

So what, if anything, have I learned during my six month stay here in Japan? What do I see differently now? Let's take a look, shall we?

Then: "The Japanese use three different systems of characters: Hiragana, Katakana and Kanji. I'm trying to learn Hiragana because apparently that is where Japanese language students are supposed to start and because many train station signs are printed in Hiragana" (January 6th, 2007)

Now: Hirgana is basically useless because the characters spell out Japanese words and my Japanese vocabulary is non-existent. Also, train station signs are printed in English as well as Hiragana. At one point I had all of the Hiragana characters memorized, but forgot them before I came to Japan.

Then: "My husband and I will spend the next year of our lives in Iruma, Japan, a smallish city on the far outskirts of Tokyo. My guess is that Tokyo is close enough for day trips, but too far to travel for dinner or bar hopping." (January 25th, 2007)

Now: I have no idea what Iruma is, even though it's part of our lengthy mailing address. Is it a district? A neighborhood? The name of our city is Miyoshi-Machi town, but when people ask where we live we always tell them the name of our home train station. Distance wise, Tokyo is close enough for both day trips and late night bar hopping, but thanks to that pesky thing known as last train, we are forced to leave Tokyo rather early.

Then: "In my opinion, Japanese people are overly concerned with germs. Many businesses have a little tray for customers to put money in so the clerk doesn't have to take it directly from the customer." (March 6th, 2007)

Now: The tray has nothing to do with a fear of germs, but rather a fear of being impolite. Apparently, it was/is considered rude to hand money directly to someone, although many cashiers directly hand me change, so I really (still) have no idea what the tray is for.

Then: "Yesterday I taught my first children's class and it was more than slightly terrifying. The eight mothers were hovered around the observation windows eager to see how their little darlings would perform. I'm sure the moms were there for moral support, but I felt as if they were judging my performance." (April 2, 2007)

Now: The above mentioned class is now one of my favorites. The children are eerily well behaved for 3-5 year-olds, although their moms still hover around the windows. I now teach a total of eight kids' classes, and despite having some of the same children since April, many still do not understand that I don't speak Japanese.

Then: "In my experience, 80-90% of English language school teachers are raving drunks. If we wanted to, my husband and I could go out drinking every night as there is always a group of teachers boozing it up somewhere." (May 29, 2007)

Now: I would like to increase that percentage to 90-95%. Also, I now believe that the bigger boozer you are, the better your chances of promotion.

Then: Psychic Prediction: There will be a big earthquake in our area of Japan in the next month or so." (June 3, 2007)

Now: I have learned that I am not psychic. Also, after experiencing five earthquakes in six months, they have begun to lose their novelty. A 5.3 woke me up last night and I wasn't motivated enough to get out of bed.

Japanese Television

2007-08-13T09:29:00.000-05:00

Let's Play a Game!

Directions: Read descriptions of bizarre Japanese videos. Choose the video that best matches the description.

1. Dizzy drag queens race to punch each other in the face and haul themselves into a kiddy pool filled with foam.

2. Child molester in gold pants strolls through city market and sings of his love of molesting children. Power Point presentation featuring molester with children immediately follows.

3. Talking toilet begs young tiger to sit on his face. Furry parents dance and sing as tiger boy relieves himself in various manners. Confetti drops from the ceiling, drops of pee chant and sing, human child grunts his way to internal bleeding.

4. Geisha and samurai run from unknown menace. Transgendered ballerina with giant duck dong springs from traditional home.

5. Giant pear chases octopus man to a purple sea monster, the octopus man's baby's mama. Sadly, the octopus baby is catatonic and destined to be kidnapped by mysterious creatures. After a series of unexplainable events, octopus man drops his baby into the river where the infant presumably dies.

6. Foreign men wearing questionable bandanna fashions terrorize young woman in white, plastic park. A trio of pale women in unflattering spandex move their arms in unnatural ways. Chippendale with a British accent poses as cop.

Video A

Video B

Video C

Video D

Video E

Video F

Do you believe in ghosts?

2007-08-04T06:52:00.000-05:00

I've been fascinated by ghosts, or the idea of ghosts, ever since I was a child. In elementary school I wrote dozens of ghost stories, read countless books about hauntings and spirits and reveled in Halloween and the 'haunted houses.' Most of these interests never died, although I stopped writing ghost stories once I entered junior high. I want to believe in ghosts more than most people, but after 27 years of seeking paranormal experiences and not finding any, I must admit that I am growing more and more skeptical.

There are many out there who will say I don't have "the gift," or that "my portals" just aren't open to the spirit world. However, I think that's just something people say to feel superior. We all like to feel special, and if having a rare connection to the spirit world doesn't make one special, than what does? Others will say I haven't been to the right place at the right time. I worked at a ghost tour company for two years and met dozens of individuals who claimed that if I visited this place or that, I was bound to have a paranormal experience. Well, I visited several so-called haunted locations, many more than once, and have yet to experience anything even remotely paranormal.

So if I don't believe in ghosts, than how do I explain the thousands, if not millions, of ghost stories shared throughout human history? Well, I think that most stories stem from experiences that people can't explain, and that these individuals automatically, and quite erroneously, attribute such experiences to ghosts or spirits. I believe that other stories come from individuals who want so badly to believe in ghosts and hauntings that they convince themselves such things exist, and are quick to find reasons to support their beliefs. Still more people lie about seeing or hearing ghosts, and others dream or hallucinate that they have. I think that one can explain away most so-called paranormal experiences by these sorts of things, but there are still those stories that make me wonder, and it's these stories that keep me from scoffing at the idea of ghosts altogether.

At this point in my life, I don't think that ghosts exist. As much as I'd like to believe otherwise, I personally don't have any reason to believe in spirits or hauntings. I don't mean to imply that all people who claim to have seen ghosts are liars, I am just one of those stubborn individuals who cannot believe in something like ghosts unless he or she experiences it for themselves, or unless indisputable scientific evidence exists to support it. Unfortunately, I haven't found either. Perhaps one day this will change, but as times ticks by, my skepticism only grows.

So, dear readers, do you believe in ghosts? Have you had a paranormal experience? If so, I'd love to hear them. I am skeptical, but I still love a good (supposedly true) ghost story.

You Know You Live in Japan When...

2007-07-28T02:53:00.000-05:00

You look out your apartment window and see this going on.

*Please note this is not video taken from my apartment, but merely an example of what I saw.

Thursday Thirteen (Random Thoughts About Life in Japan)

2007-07-16T04:13:00.000-05:00

1. I am always sure I feel an earthquake. Shudders caused by passing trains, heavy wind, speeding trucks and people upstairs, things I never noticed before, now cause me to stop and wonder about grinding Tectonic plates.

2. I have discovered that eating large chunks of raw fish is not as bad as I previously thought. However, I still refuse to eat juicy, red fish eggs, raw sea urchin, fermented soy beans, chicken hearts, raw horse sushi, squid guts and a number of other common Japanese foods.

3. I will always be mystified when I see English genre signs in Japanese book stores that don't have any English books.

4. I now realize how difficult it is to explain words like "although," "actually," and "rather," among others.

5. I will never understand why there are no less than ten vending machines on any given platform when it is considered rude to drink on the trains.

6. I have devised several strange ways to amuse myself at work. For example, I brought a country CD to my branch and enjoy setting "Boot Scoot Boogy" to play on repeat. The record number of plays before anyone noticed is 9 or 10.

7. I also hum the tune from 69 Boyz's "Daisy Dukes," rather than "Winnie the Pooh" when my Kinder students color in their workbooks.

8. Nearly everyone of my students has informed me that they will "go to shopping." This is by far the most common mistake I hear from students. I have heard it at least three hundred times, maybe more.

9. I've noticed a series of strange contradictions in Japan. For example, it's considered terribly rude to use the cell phone on the train, as it may disturb other passengers, yet it's okay for political vans to cruise up and down residential neighborhoods at 8 a.m. blaring campaign messages. Residents of Japan must extensively separate their garbage so that everything can be recycled and nothing wasted, yet fast food employees will use no less than four plastic bags to wrap one order. One bag for the drinks, one for the fries, one for the burgers and one to carry it all. Generally, the Japanese seem to have a love/hate relationship with foreigners. Thousands, perhaps millions, study another language in their free time and they print English on just about anything, yet there are signs showing blond haired, blue eyed foreigners robbing Japanese women at ATMs and Japanese passengers will sometimes make a big show of not sitting next to a foreigner on the train (see below).

10. The following has happened to my husband two times: Japanese person gets on train. There is a large empty spot next to my husband and no room on the bench across. Japanese person ignores large spot next to my husband and attempts to wriggle his way into the spot across the aisle, a spot scarcely large enough for a child. On one occasion, the person finally gave up and sat next to my husband, on the other the woman managed to worm her way between other (Japanese) passengers. My husband was wearing business clothes both times, so it wasn't like he looked like a crazed homeless person.

11. I am sure I will collapse from sensory overload when we finally return to the United States. Oh to be able to read and understand what's said around me! Oh to be able to speak freely, and at a natural speed! I know most people take this stuff for granted, but I never will again.

12. However, I will not be glad to return to American service. The service here is eerily perfect. Many restaurants have a button diners push, and bing, a server appears like magic. There's no waiting around for waiters to get off their smoke break and/or finish telling the cooks how wasted they got last night. A cashier at a fast food restaurant once forgot to give me my ketchup and ran halfway across the mall to give it to me.

13. When not at work or at home, I have no clue what's going on around me. I may as well be Helen Keller. I'm illiterate, I have no idea what people are saying, ever, I can't do the simplest things like ask how to recharge my train pass or request no mayonnaise on my pizza. There was a typhoon headed towards Tokyo a few days ago and my husband had no idea until our students told us.

Gaijin Monkey

2007-06-30T02:08:00.000-05:00

Many of the foreigners on TV here are unbearably stupid. Especially those on English conversation shows. For example, this guy...

Words cannot express how much I hate that guy. I don't care how smart he is or how fluent he is in Japanese. I hate him. He is perhaps the most annoying person in the universe, rivaled only by Carrot Top. And while he is certainly the worst of the Japanese TV gaijin, there are many others almost equally as stupid.

I learned a new phrase here in Japan, and that is Gaijin Monkey. The guy in the video is the epitome of a Gaijin Monkey. A Gaijin Monkey is a goofy, dancing, English speaking person who performs for the entertainment of Japanese people. I've felt like a Gaijin Monkey at my job on more than one occasion (the dance at the end of the video is not that different from the song and dance I'm forced to perform in kid's classes), and many foreign people here feel that is all Japanese people want or expect them to be, foolishly goofy and entertaining.

With that in mind, my husband and I have invented a Gaijin Monkey dance to perform the next time someone stares at us on the street or in the train, or when every mother and grandmother comes to watch our kid's class/show. It's a goofy, exaggerated dance with lots of arm and leg motions, similar to the shuck and jive. I doubt we'll be brave enough to try it, but sometimes you gotta give the people want they want.

I know there are other expatriates bloggers who read my blog, and I would like to know your thoughts on the Gaijin Monkey subject. Do you hate the guy on TV as much as I do? Do you sometimes feel like a Gaijin Monkey at your jobs or feel as if you're expected to "perform" somehow? Or am I just being ridiculous?

The Joys of Teaching...

2007-06-29T22:34:00.000-05:00

(In a conversation about when I started teaching)

Student: Your face used to be hard.
Me: Hard?! What do you mean?
Student: It looked hard. Your face didn't move.
Me: What about now? Is it still hard?
Student: No, it's soft. It moves.

(During a lesson about abilities)

(Male) Student: Can you cook?
Me: No. I'm terrible.
Student (in utter amazement): Really?
Me: Yes, really. Why are you so surprised?
Student (points and grunts): Woman!

(During a special topics class about American cowboy culture)

Me (to class): So, what do you think about the cowboy lifestyle?
Student: It sounds stupid.

(At the beginning of a lesson, for no reason whatsoever...)

Student: You look tired?
Me: Really? I'm not tired.
Student: You should use more face cream. And powder.

A Refreshing Drink For a Hot Summer's Day?

2007-06-23T06:25:00.000-05:00

It's actually not as disgusting as it sounds. That may be because it tastes nothing like cucumber. I've heard rumors of Coke Broccoli, but I couldn't say if they're well founded. Apple and melon cream sodas grace the vending machines and grocery stores as well.

What do you think? Would you try it? Would you try Coke Broccoli?

Drunken Shenanigans

2007-06-21T23:30:00.000-05:00

There is a big drinking culture among the employees at my company, including both foreign teachers and Japanese staff members, and sadly my drinking tolerance has climbed to heights I haven't achieved since college. At home, my husband and I would get good and drunk once every two months, if that. In Japan, we get drunk two or three times a week. I can't count the times a quick beer after work has turned into all night affair, often with ugly results.

Last night, in a drunken haze, my husband overpaid the cab driver 10,000 yen or approximately $100. The driver looked amused as he drove away, and I thought it was my husband's Southernized Japanese that made him grin, but now I realize he just thought we were stupid gaijin (foreigners). I'm actually surprised he took the money. It's not customary to tip in Japan and I've heard stories of cab drivers refusing to take the equivalent of a $10 tip, much less $100. It had to have been obvious that my husband made a mistake, but the driver didn't correct him. Oops.

In other drunken news, I got stopped on the street by the police last night and asked to show my Gaijin card. Every foreign person in Japan has to register at the local city office and obtain an alien registration, or Gaijin card, which serves as official identification for foreigners. Last night, I was walking down the street with a Japanese friend from work, when two police officers came over and asked to see my card. It felt weird because they didn't ask to see any of my friend's identification and no one else I know has ever had to show their card, despite many displays of public drunkenness. Many foreigners get offended at the thought of being ID ed, because they think of themselves as being unfairly targeted, but to be fair my friend and I were walking too close to traffic and we did nearly get hit by a truck. The officers were also very polite about it. Police officers in America have shouted at my friends and I for far less. But still, the thought of me as this suspicious looking character that Japanese police need to check out makes me laugh.

I would now like to leave you with this photo. Notice how the sign is only in English. The last line reads "this is a people area, please keep it clean." I guess English speaking people are the only ones who need to be told not to let their pets take a crap in front of a historic temple. Oh silly gaijin!

Do Blonds Have More Fun?

2007-06-11T01:43:00.000-05:00

Before I came to Japan, I heard that Japanese people are fascinated with blond hair. I didn't really believe it at the time, but now I've changed my mind.

A girl I work with has light blond hair and bright green eyes. She is constantly being stared at, followed, shouted at, flirted with, harassed, etc. Anytime I go anywhere with her, some random person, usually drunk, tries to talk to us/her. A couple of nights ago, a drunk guy chased us down the street blurting random English phrases like "Hello!" and "Nice to meet you." Last night she was approached three times in fifteen minutes while searching for our friends outside the restaurant. She makes her boyfriend accompany her to and from the train station because she often has men follow her down the street. The staff always use her for demo lessons, special seminars and customer chit chat. Another blond girl I know reports similar incidents and occasionally hears the Japanese word for golden shouted in her direction.

I have light brown hair and hazel eyes. The only people who talk to me on the street are middle aged women who blabber in Japanese. I rarely notice anyone staring at me and no one ever follows me to and from the station. I've never been asked to do a demo lesson or to chat up visitors. The staff always asks blondie, even if she is racing around in a hurry and I and the other brunette employee are obviously doing nothing. Now my hair color could be considered an advantage because I don't really want to talk to random people in the lobby and I certainly don't want to be stalked, but the vain side of me wishes I got as much attention. "Why don't people talk to me," my egotistical side screams "I want attention too! Look at me! Look at me!"

I considered dying my hair much lighter, as a sort of scientific experiment, to see if I got more attention, but then decided that would be pathetic and lame. I don't want to change my hair color to please strangers on the street. Besides, maybe she gets more attention because people find her better looking than me. Fortunately, she is a nice girl who doesn't let all the attention go to her head.

Has anyone else had these kinds of experiences in Japan or other countries? Is blond hair really that intriguing?

Earthquake II

2007-06-04T01:02:00.000-05:00

There was another small earthquake today. I was teaching my first lesson with my private students, when the room started to tremble. This time the tremors lasted about twenty seconds or so. I think I noticed them more this time because I was in a traditional, wooden Japanese style home, rather than a modern apartment building. Ironically, the earthquake started about three minutes after I told the students how quakes scare me. They looked a little concerned when things began to tremble, and chattered to each other in Japanese. I guess I looked alarmed, because one of them told me not to worry. Afterwards, they told me it was a 2 or 3.0 quake.

Again, I know small quakes are nothing to Japanese people, but as my last entry states, I have a feeling there is going to be a big earthquake in our area. Maybe it's because I had a dream a few days ago that I was in a huge one, or maybe it's because the idea of the earth shifting is so foreign to me. It's such an odd feeling to feel the earth tremble.

Now I know it's common for a series of small tremors to occure after a significant earthquake, but does it also work in reverse? Do small tremors often occur before big ones? My husband felt a small quake a few days ago when he was at work, and then there was the one today. If a big quake does happen I hope I'm not alone. It would totally suck to be stranded in a Japanese city, miles from home, with no way to communicate or call my husband.

I sure am paranoid.

Psychic or Psycho?

2007-06-03T06:41:00.000-05:00

I have two "psychic" predictions that I would like to log for the record.

Psychic Prediction #1: In the next year or two, Linday Lohan will die unexpectedly. I'm thinking a car accident, a drug overdose or some other dramatic celebrity mishap. This probably isn't psychic abilities, so much as common sense talking, but I wish to predict it never the less.

Psychic Prediction #2: There will be a big earthquake in our area of Japan in the next month or so. That's the border area of the Saitama and Kanto prefectures. I think. Twenty miles west of Ikebukuro, a section of Tokyo. Check the news if/when it happens.

Now I know I make fun of my husband for issuing numerous psychic predictions, but perhaps I am psychic and he is not. Or perhaps we're both full of ourselves. However, if I see any animals acting crazy I'm taking cover. Except I never see any animals here, except fat, shrieking crows (one of which pooped on my head recently) and pigeons.

But if I'm right, my husband and I are starting a earthquake prediction service.

Picture This...

2007-05-29T10:01:00.000-05:00

Random Thoughts Set to Pictures...

On our days off, my husband and I usually explore sections of Tokyo, with our newest hobby being drinking beer in the park. After living in parts of the United States where cops will practically beat you for carrying a dreaded "open container," it's quite a novelty to be able to drink a beer outside.

My favorite beer/park moment was the time my husband and I went to see the cherry blossom trees in Ueno Park, only to be caught in the cold, pouring rain under the already fading blossoms.

Hooray beer for making a potentially disappointing experience memorable.

Thankfully, we've had better luck on most of our other outings. In our Tokyo explorations, my husband and I have stumbled across various temples, shrines and street markets, all of which make for that "Wow, we're in Japan!" type moments. Here are a few pictures we've taken...

If it weren't for picture menus, I don't know how my husband and I would manage to eat out. Nearly all of the restaurants here in Japan have picture menus or some sort of wax food displays. Obviously this is a huge help. Generally we don't visit a restaurant unless we are sure they have picture menus or unless we have a Japanese friend to translate for us. I think this is a good policy. The one time we visited a place without picture menus we accidentally ate chicken liver and fried tendons, both disgusting.

Speaking of disgusting, check out this horrifying menu option. Severed fish head anyone?

Although I haven't sampled simmered fish head or raw horse meat, I now regularly eat things I refused to eat in the States. For example, large chunks of raw fish, plump, orange fish eggs, squid, seaweed and various other slimy, gooey or otherwise moist objects from the sea.

Here I am eating something green and slimy in this horribly unflattering photo.

As my husband and I are unable to read Kanji, we are often forced to invent business names. We've been to the restaurant pictured above and below at least three times, but have yet to learn its actual name. We refer to it as The Crab Place. Imaginative, I know. There's also The Karaoke Place, the Barrel Restaurant, the Indian Place in the Department Store, etc.

Fortunately, a lot of restaurants have English names, such as the one pictured below...

We have yet to visit the Beer Saurus Beer Restaurant, but with a name like that it's only a matter of time.

In my experience, 80-90% of English language school teachers are raving drunks. If we wanted to, my husband and I could go out drinking every night as there is always a group of teachers boozing it up somewhere. Most of the drinking takes place at various izakayas (bar/restaurants) up and down the local rail line, and it just wouldn't be proper to end the night without creating a drunken spectacle.

However, that's not to say that Japanese people don't get create their own drunken spectacles. You may remember this post.

My husband took a picture of this guy at a karaoke place. For some reason the place had a horse mask and Santa suit available. There was also a gold, sequined jumpsuit.

My students are surprisingly open about their drinking habits. Several students have responded to my "How was your weekend?" opening question by relating stories about their drunken karaoke nights and the resulting hangovers.

Thus, concludes my random picture blog entry. Dear readers, is there anything you're curious about or would like to see a picture of? If so, please ask.

In Memoriam

2007-05-20T00:40:00.000-05:00

My favorite aunt died a couple of days ago. She went to the ocean to swim and watch the sun rise, and then apparently got swept away by a strong current and drowned. There was no one else around and a shrimper found her body in a nearby creek a few hours later. She leaves behind a husband of nearly 30 years, five children and four grandchildren, with another on the way. They seem to be a tight knit bunch, so I can't imagine how they must all be feeling now. She was 47 years old.

I only recently reconnected with my aunt and my cousins, so we weren't all that close, but my husband and I visited her four or five times in the last year and she was always generous and kind and great fun to hang out with. She was outgoing and free spirited and spent her days creating mosaic furniture, enjoying the beach, throwing seasonal parties and spending time with friends and family. She was popular in her small beach community, and I have no doubt that she will be greatly missed by many people.

I was annoyed, and hurt, because she didn't come to my wedding like she promised or write or call to say congratulations, so I stopped emailing her. Now I wish I hadn't been so petty. I always wondered if she was mad at me for some reason, but now I guess I'll never know. I wish my husband and I could have visited her and my cousins one last time before moving to Japan. Maybe we would have if I hadn't been so stubborn.

I like the ocean, but I doubt I'll ever go swimming in it again. This past fourth of July, my husband and I watched helplessly as a man drowned in the ocean not twenty feet away from us and now it's my aunt who's died in the waves. She commented on a blog I wrote about the 4th of July experience and told me about one of my cousin's friends who also drowned. The ocean can be a real bitch.

Sexual Fantasy Venues, Random English

2007-05-16T07:50:00.000-05:00

I could be mistaken, but I believe the signs pictured below are advertisments for sexual fantasy venues. I've read that there are places in Japan where men pay to grope women on fake trains and in fake office settings, but this is the first evidence I've seen for myself. My husband and I happened by these signs on a side street in a section of Tokyo known as Ikebukuro.

There's nothing better than a little sexual harassment after a hard day at the office. Har har har!

Tell the sexy nurse where it hurts.

Did you notice that the signs are in English? One thing that puzzles me about Japan is the random English signs. I'm willing to bet that most customers of the above mentioned businesses are Japanese and that most of them don't know the words sexual harassment or version. So why are the signs in English and not Japanese? Similarly, there is a holiday week called Golden Week and though the holidays are solely Japanese, they call it by the English name rather than whatever the Japanese words are for golden and week. I asked a Japanese co-worker why this is and she said they use English because they think it's hip. While this is mostly convenient to a native English speaker like me, there are instances when it's frustrating. See Exhibit A:

Oh look, it's a drink menu. It clearly says so in English. In fact, English is the only language I see on the menu. There are no Japanese characters in sight, so surely there must be English inside. Right?

Wrong! There's not a lick of English in the entire menu except for the subheadings. The food menu was the same way.

Now I don't expect to see an English menu in every restaurant, but why tease me with English titles and labels if all of the important stuff is going to be in Japanese?

I guess I'll have to quit being so lazy and learn Katakana.

Earthquake, Privates

2007-05-10T08:19:00.000-05:00

***I experienced my first earthquake on Tuesday night. It was a small tremor, barely worth mentioning, but it was enough to rattle the doors and the furniture. The entire thing lasted maybe 15 seconds and all I did was sit on the couch and stare at the rattling television in confusion. It was interesting to realize that some shift in the earth hundreds or even thousands of feet below was causing the shaking, but that was the only interesting thing about it. My husband's reaction was far more exciting than the quake. Earlier in the afternoon, he proclaimed it to be an Earthquake Day, but he is always making "psychic" predictions so I didn't think much of it. When the shaking began, he bellowed "There's the earthquake!" and then darted from the room yelling "Hold on! Hold on! Hold on!" He claims he was forming a safety plan in case the tremor got worse, but I'm not convinced. Thankfully, the shaking ceased before he dragged me under a table or something. I know a small tremor is no big deal to those used to such things, but it was a novel experience for us. We've had our share of tornado and hurricane experiences, but earthquakes still seem quite exotic. The odds are good that we'll experience another before our time in Japan is up, so we shall see how the next one goes. With my husband's psychic warning system and calm safety procedures, I don't see how it could go anything but smoothly.

***I've acquired a group of private students from another instructor. The current instructor is transferring to Okinawa (lucky thing), and I've agreed to take on her three students. Private means that I am their freelance instructor and can therefore teach whatever I want, however I want, whenever I want. Although it's not techincally against the rules to have private students, the language company where I work strongly discourages it as one of our teachers was recently murdered by a private student, or so the rumor goes. Now don't worry, I met the students on Wednesday and they're a group of three older women in their fifties and sixties, so the chances that I'll be murdered are quite slim. Besides, they'll bring me an extra $300 per month and I'll have the freedom to teach how I want, rather than following a rigid, often monotonous formula. Now, if only I could find 8 more groups...

Homesick

2007-05-02T22:57:00.000-05:00

I know most of my blogs have had "Japan is Wacky and Weird" and/or "Wonderful and Exciting" themes, but I would be lying if I said that every day is filled with wonder and awe.

I have a touch of homesickness today. I miss Charleston, the beach, English TV programs, Target, palm trees, Sonic, Taco Bell, sports bars and a dozen other small and ridiculous things. I had a dream last night that I went to Target to buy a computer game and I was kind of sad when I woke up and realized I was in Japan. Quite random.

There are other teachers who have been here for two, three, eight years or more, and I just can't imagine staying here that long. Almost all of the guy teachers who came to Japan single (and some who did not) have Japanese girlfriends. Maybe that's one reason they stay so long, although there are girls who stay awhile as well. My husband and I are definitely not staying longer than one year. We are just approaching month 3 of 12, so I'd best get my act together.

However, it is nearing that time of month, so maybe it's PMS rather than homesickness that's causing this melancholy. Stay tuned.

A Million Little Random Pieces

2007-04-22T04:37:00.000-05:00

***Drunk People***

Now I know that Americans (and people of other nationalities) get rip roaring drunk, but I've seen a surprising number of unbelievably tanked individuals here in Japan. There is a popular karaoke bar near our apartment, and I can't count the number of people I've seen staggering out (if they're lucky). Last night my husband and I walked by a girl lying face down in front of the building. She was surrounded by three or four water glasses and a couple of friends who seemed uncertain what to do next. My husband practically walked over the woman and I passed within six inches, but she never even stirred. Although she is the first karaoke customer I've seen sprawled on the sidewalk, I've seen many more just shy of that fate, not to mention the various vomit stains scattered out front. Now this sight by itself is not so remarkable, but we've seen countless others like it. In fact, earlier in the evening we encountered a group of intoxicated college students, three of which were barfing in the grass. Another in their party shrieked "I love you!" (in English) over and over. In my experience, drunk Japanese guys love to shout English phrases and/or take photos with foreigners. On other occasion, a thoroughly hammered young man befriended our group at a restaurant and posed in photos. Later in the evening we saw him laying, face down, in the middle of the train station. When he noticed us passing by he too shouted "I love you!" Doesn't the Japanese character from Sixteen Candles shout "I love you!" when he falls from the tree drunk? If so, than those situations are a stereotype come to life.

***Unsupervised Children***

Would you let your nine-year-old wait alone in a crowded train station? Is it wise to allow a seven-year-old girl to ride the subway in central Tokyo by herself? You and I might say no, but people in Japan apparently feel differently. I suppose Japanese parents are more relaxed about supervision because the crime rate is much lower and kidnapping rare, but kids can still get lost or slip onto the tracks. I often see mothers striding several feet ahead of their toddlers, rarely looking back to see if he or she is keeping up. It's quite strange to me. The one exception is my kinder class, in which case every mother is pressing her nose against the observation window, watching her child's every move.

***Political Vans***

Do you remember the scene in Back to the Future where the mayoral candidate blares campaign messages from a large van? If not, imagine a person shrieking into five bullhorns at once and that is what we hear outside our apartment four, five, ten times a day. Be sure to imagine frantic, high pitch, incomprehensible shrieking. Here in Japan, political candidates and/or their henchman cruise around town blaring their message to the world. They also wear sashes and white gloves and wave to people like Miss America contestants. Sometimes opposing vehicles cross paths and two people attempt to shout over one another, and that is true auditory joy. What's ironic is that it's against the rules to use a cell phone on the train, because it might disturb others, but this loud, incessant caterwauling is perfectly acceptable, as long as it doesn't start before eight in the morning. Combine that with the garbage truck diddy, the crosswalk song and the talking vending machines and you've got yourself quite an urban symphony.

Update

2007-04-15T06:35:00.000-05:00

Well, there's not much new to report from the Land of the Rising Sun. Now that my husband and I have settled into our new neighborhood and jobs, our lives have become somewhat routine. We get up, go to work, come home, waste time on the Internet, and stare uncomprehendingly at the TV. On our days off we might try a new restaurant or sing karaoke. With a few major exceptions, (not knowing the native language, being the only non-Japanese person in sight, living in a country that serves raw horse meat and fish guts in restaurants) our lives are surprisingly similar to the ones we led in the States. Although our lifestyles are still exotic by American standards, we haven gotten used to most of the exoticness by now.

The English teaching gig is like any other job, with both its good and bad days. Of course, there are student's I love, and those I don't. Most of the students study English for work or travel reasons, but many of them do it for fun. I can't count the housewives who come in and take lessons as a hobby. Meanwhile, I'm too lazy to learn more than a handful of Japanese words and I live in Japan. Those words include "Arigato," (thank you very much) "Sumimasen" (excuse me) and "Kancho," which is a word one person chants before poking another's butt crack. All very useful words.

Of course, not all of my students are joys to teach. In one of my classes a twelve year old boy thought it was hilarious to point at pictures of ugly old men and say they looked like me. So of course I did the only mature, responsible thing, which was to point at photos of little girls and say they looked like him. In another class, an adult student told me I looked tired and that I needed to use more face cream. I wasn't sure how to respond so I just kind of stared at her. It was not a heartwarming teacher/student moment. The children's classes are going better, but they too have their quirky students. In one class, two little girls ran up at various times and grabbed my boobs. In another, a girl stroked my hair and my thigh, whispering "beautiful" in a creepy, mesmerized voice. In yet another class, one of the students hid in the cabinet before I entered the room and then exploded out after I started the class. I had no idea she was in there and was a bit startled to say the least. Ahhhh, children.

April 14th was our two month anniversary in Japan. Who knows what the next ten months will bring...

Jesus May Love the Little Children, But I Don't

2007-04-02T04:20:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I taught my first children's class and it was more than slightly terrifying. I have zero experience with children and have only spoken to one or two since reaching adulthood. When we applied for the job, the interviewer asked Andrew and I if we wanted to teach children and we both said we preferred not to. I don't know why they bothered asking because when we got here we quickly realized that teaching children's classes is mandatory.

I was jittery on the way to work yesterday, and became even more nervous when I saw that I would be dealing with eight five year olds. Not only that, but it was the first day of new classes, so eight mothers were hovering around the observation windows eager to see how their little darlings would perform. I'm sure the moms were there for moral support, but I felt as if they were judging my performance, which was terrible.

From the beginning, the going was rough. One child shrieked like a banshee and refused to release his death grip from his mother's leg when she tried to nudge him in the classroom. His wailing caused another child to scream, and soon all of the kids in the room were bouncing around like a group of nervous monkeys. At this point I whipped out the vocabulary flashcards and begin chanting words like a maniac. "Rice!" "Rice!" "Chicken!" "Chicken!" "Soup!" Some of the kids were interested, others rolled around on the floor.

The entire class went on in this way. I chanted and sang the vocabulary words, over and over and over again, having no idea what I was doing, while all of the mothers looked on. The boy in the hall shrieked from time to time, but he never came in. I'm sure some of the mothers saw my ass crack when I was sitting on the floor.

The best part came when I tried to end the class five minutes early. At the beginning and end of each class, children line up at the door for one last drill before they leave for the day. The lesson plan I read before class said this part takes three minutes, so I decided I'd give myself five as I was unfamiliar with the drill. When I attempted this, one of the mothers came to the door and tapped her watch, basically forbidding me from ending the class early. So, feeling terribly foolish, I herded the children back into the room and chanted more words at them. Eeek!!

Wish me luck.

A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words...

2007-03-31T06:07:00.000-05:00

**Asakusa**

Cherry Blossoms!!

What about White or Mexican Love?

2007-03-27T04:25:00.000-05:00

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the Black Love scented candle:

I found Black Love at a local department store among the Plumeria and Lavender scented candles. Needless to say, I was immediately intrigued. Why Black Love? Why Japan? Of course I had to buy it.

In case you're wondering, Black Love smells pretty good. Kind of like incense.

Cell Phones! Food Theme Parks!

2007-03-22T06:38:00.000-05:00

Well, it wasn't easy, but my husband and I finally managed to get cell phones yesterday. We'd been asking around at our branches for weeks, trying to figure out how the other teachers found service, and got such helpful answers as "I don't remember." Seriously, at least three people told us that. How do you not remember getting cellular service in a country where you don't speak the language? What a ridiculous answer. In any case, the two of us simply had to get phones, so yesterday we decided to visit various cell phone dealers until we found one where someone could speak English. There are literally dozens of cell phone stores on any given city block, but we had to visit at least six before we could find anyone that could help us/was willing to help us. I have suspicions that at least a few of the employees could speak a little English, but didn't want to deal with the hassle of translation. One guy said "I don't speak English" with such perfect pronunciation that I would be very surprised if he wasn't at least semi-fluent. The store that finally did help us called someone from another branch to translate over the phone, and while we are uncertain what plans we purchased, we are now the proud owners of two hi-tech Japanese cell phones.

The instruction manuals are all in Japanese of course, but both phones have GPS, Internet, picture, video, music and god knows what else. The trend in Japan is to attach chain things to one's cell phone, so I bought a Kuromi chain to attach to mine. Kuromi is an evil Hello Kitty character for those of you not in the know. Here is a photo of our two phones. Mine is the pink one of course.

If you're wondering what character my husband has attached to his phone, it's the monocle cat of Namjatown. And what is Namjatown you ask? Why, it's a food theme park of course. And just what is a food theme park? According to japan-guide.com, a food theme park is a magical place specializing "in one type of food or dish, giving visitors the opportunity to taste various versions of that dish in one place. Unlike conventional theme parks, food theme parks are located indoors, and many are atmospherically decorated according to a specific epoch or fantasy theme." My husband and I stumbled upon Namjatown while waiting for the cellular people to set up our phones and decided to check it out. Here is a photo of me outside the main entrance.

The theme of Namjatown, apparently, is evil cats. One wears a monocle and the other looks like this.

Upon first entering Namjatown, my husband and I followed a path into what can only be described as some sort of evil cat haunted house. The lighting was ominous, the noises spooky and the cats malevolent. There was also a variety of bizarre games, television screens and weird displays, but as we don't understand Japanese, my husband and I had no clue what was going on. My husband, however, is enamored by evil cats for some reason, and chuckled with glee the entire time.

I wish I could better describe the experience of Namjatown, but it's difficult because I'm still not sure exactly what I saw. There was a boy band performing with a dancing cat on the main stage near the entrance. We were bedazzled by fake jungle paths, fake war zones, fake European chapels, all complete with evil cats and the occasional worm looking thing. It was a strange, strange place.

However, one doesn't visit Namjatown for the evil cat shows. The best part of Namjatown is the giant food courts. The park features three giant courts, one dedicated to ice cream, one to desserts and another to gyoza, a sort of meat pocket thing. Of course, my husband I had to visit Ice cream City and sample some of the goods. We each tried a cup of gelato and found it mighty tasty. In addition, we strolled through Gyoza City and the Tokyo Dessert Stadium, but didn't eat anything from either court. By then our cell phones were ready, so we sadly left Namjatown with promises of returning again.

It's the Little Things...

2007-03-06T07:14:00.000-05:00

Little Things in Japan That Take Some Getting Used To

*Toilets

While many places have regular Western toilets, a few do not, and I've had to use a squat toilet on at least four occasions. I can't say I fancy them. I always forget to grab a handful of tissue before I sit, or rather squat, and I then find myself flailing awkwardly for the dispenser which is always just out of reach. Plus, they're smelly and the linoleum floor is always suspiciously wet and slimy. Not to mention the discomfort squatting causes my legs. I only use squat toilets when I've had two or three beers and simply must go.

On the other end of the spectrum, are fancy toilets with seat warmers, music, bidets and fake flushing sounds to cover embarrassing noises. The controls look something like this:

I've used these at various department stores and restaurants, and I must say that the seat warmer is rather nice. However, I haven't tried the bidet or shower option. I read on Wikipedia that some of the toilets have glow in the dark seats and air conditioning. That would be something!

The toilet at our apartment is just a regular Western toilet with no fancy features. However, it does have a spigot at the top in case we'd like to wash our hands with toilet water. It's clean and it saves water, but I wash my hands in the regular bathroom sink by habit.

*Recycling

I like recycling as much as the next person, but the Japanese are hardcore about it. It's mandatory that everyone extensively sort and separate their garbage and put it out for collection on the designated day. Burnable garbage goes out on one day, plastics on another. Aluminum cans have their own days, as do bottles and newspapers/magazines. On the second Wednesday of the month or something, the city collects random things like batteries and large household items. All of these things go in their own bags of course, and we're supposed to clean everything before we toss it. My husband and I still have no idea what goes out when, and we have to stare into the garbage bin to figure out what trash we can bring down. Our employer left us strict warnings to follow the rules, claiming that mistakes will draw complaints from other residents or cause them to bring erroneously placed trash back to our door. We haven't had any problems yet, but then we haven't really been taking at our trash regularly. Also, the trash truck plays a little tune like the ice cream man's. And that brings me to....

*Random Things That Talk

Lots of random objects talk here. Ambulances talk. Crosswalks talk. Restaurants talk. Products at the grocery store talk. Of course, my husband and I can't understand a word of it. The first time we heard an ambulance talk, it was 3 in the morning and we were worried that it was some sort of emergency announcement. Another instructor later told us that the ambulance is basically saying "Get out of the way. This is an emergency." The crosswalk near our building talks and I can often hear it in our apartment. It goes, BEEP, BEEP (Japanese gibberish), BEEP, BEEP (Japanese gibberish). It talks when it's safe to walk, I think. It's very loud at the grocery store sometimes because the speakers placed around various products babble advertisements. A restaurant down the street from our apartment does the same.

*Surgical Masks

Many people in Japan wear surgical masks wherever they go. I've heard it's because of allergies or a fear of getting sick, but I couldn't say for sure. My guess is that it's to fend off germs because, in my opinion, Japanese people are overly concerned with germs. Many businesses also have a little tray for customers to put money in so the clerk doesn't have to take it directly from the customer (which makes no sense because the clerk takes it from the tray not even one second after the customer puts it there). Most Japanese people don't wear masks, but enough do to make it worth pondering.

I'm sure there's more things to share, but that's all I can think of right now. Tune in for more at a later date.

Also, if any of you have questions you'd like to ask, please do! I'd be delighted to answer them.

Weird Stuff I Found in Japan

2007-03-04T05:16:00.000-05:00

Before I even thought of moving to Japan, I loved to visit sites like Engrish.com to see photos of humorous English mistakes or just plain weird sentences. Little did I know that I'd one day be in Japan to see examples for myself! Some of the stuff on that site is hilarious! I can't wait to amass a large collection of wacky Engrish clothing to wear back in the States. As of yet, I've only found one funny thing myself and that is the children's fork below. Take a look at the company name.

Apparently, Lube Sheep is a company in Japan that produces children's eating utensils. I've seen other forks by the same company, but this is the only one I've found with the name on the instrument itself. I can't help but wonder why they chose the name. I mean, Lube Sheep?! What the hell? And don't ask me what Putifresh means. A friend of mine in Oklahoma is having a baby girl soon, and she will be the proud owner of this Lube Sheep fork.

Although the product below is not an example of Engrish, it's just as strange. Maybe stranger. Behold, the Afro Boy 2way Door Stopper!

Yes, that's right, 2 way! One can simply remove the afro and use it to prevent the door from closing...

Or, place the little man under the door so that he prevents it from opening. How wacky and whimsical and utterly un-pc!

I can hardly imagine the uproar this product would cause in the United States or other countries. I've heard that the Japanese can be very racist, especially against black people, although I'm not black myself so I couldn't say for sure. I don't know what I'm going to do with the Afro Boy 2way Door Stopper.

Japanese Memaws

2007-03-02T06:46:00.000-05:00

Although I spent the last two years in South Carolina, I grew up in Oklahoma and consider it my homestate. A surprising number of my Japanese students have heard of Oklahoma. Well, at least I think they have. When I ask students if they've heard of it, many smile and nod, but it's hard to tell if they understand what I'm asking or if they're just pretending to. I have my suspicions. In any case, I've been making Oklahoma sound like it has nothing more than cowboys, country music and rodeos, which was my pet peeve when I lived there, but for some reason I always find myself saying yee-haw and making lasso movements when I talk about the state. I just can't help myself.

Yesterday I taught a lesson about family members, and in it we discussed different names for grandmothers. For example, granny, nana, grandma, etc. I went a step further and taught them the word mewaw, which is quite hilarious in my opinion. My third cousins call their grandma memaw and I've heard one or two other Oklahomans do the same, but obviously my students had never heard of it. I told them it's a country thing, and as far as they know everyone in Oklahoma uses the word memaw and listens to country music. Good times. I've also manged to incorporate werewolves, ghosts and other paranormal things into my lessons (it's easier than you think), so who knows what other gems I'll be able to teach the Japanese. If just one Japanese student calls his or her grandmother memaw or is able to speak freely about werewolves and haunted places, then all the hours of lessons are worth it! :-)

Has anyone else heard or used the word memaw?

Green Eye Goo, Izakayas, A Park

2007-03-01T10:48:00.000-05:00

For the last six days or so, my husband and I have had a terrible cold. We've spent our first few days of work hacking up phlegm and leaking snot, and I haven't a normal speaking voice in about five days. It's a wonder my students can understand me well enough to complete the listening comprehension exercises. We've purchased some medicine, but it doesn't seem to work very well. Oh, how grand it would be to have some NighQuil…. If I weren't worried about Japanese laws, I'd ask someone to ship me some. Oh well, we'll get better eventually. In addition, my eyes have become seriously bloodshot, and one morning I awoke with dried green goo around my eyes. Sounds healthy doesn't it?

Anyway, my significant other and I were off work on Tuesday and Wednesday, so we spent our free time wandering around parts of Tokyo. Yesterday we went to Ikebukoro and ate an izakaya. An izakaya is a bar/restaurant in which patrons go in, remove their shoes, sit at lowered table and order a variety of dishes to share with friends. Sort of like tapas I guess. We went to an izakaya on Saturday night with another American instructor and three Japanese staff members, and that's when I saw all the gross food. Those girls ate chicken hearts, squid guts, raw horse meat sushi, and skin from the backside of a chicken, among other things. My husband and I stuck with regular old chicken skewers and sushi, both Saturday night and Tuesday afternoon. I used to be grossed out by sushi with large chunks of raw fish on top, but it turns out I like it and can eat it just fine. After seeing some of the other food here, raw fish is nothing.

On Wednesday we wandered around a park near Tokyo Dome and took a few photos.

My husband calls this his fish whisperer photo.

Here's a tree that looks Japan-y. A bonzai tree, perhaps? Is that right?

A quaint old bridge. Fascinating, huh?

The park also had a fake temple, a waterfall, a rice paddy and some cherry blossom trees. We didn't spend much time there because we had planned to go to the amusement park beside Tokyo Dome, but alas, it was closed. Today it was back to work teaching English. Tomorrow is our (da da dum) one week review. We shall see how it goes.

Until later...

I'm Alive!!

2007-02-26T07:45:00.000-05:00

Yes, I am still alive! Thanks to the wonders of (other people's) wireless Internet accounts, I am able to type this from the comfort of my own Japanese home, rather than an Internet cafe. My husband went to one the other day and it was an adventure trying to communicate to the clerk what we wanted.

Everything is going well, no major mishaps to report. We just finished our first few days of teaching, and after a somewhat rocky training period my husband and I are doing fine. I've taught lessons about discussing pet peeves, dealing with bad neighbors, describing art, discussing the weather, asking about prices in shops, etc. etc. The students come from all walks of life and in one class I might have a junior high student, a doctor, a housewife and a farmer. All of my students have been pleasant to instruct and though my teaching skills could use some work, I like the job so far.

Our apartment is small, but nice. It is on the fifth floor and we have a decent view of the city and, when it is not too smoggy, Mt. Fuji. Actually, we have only been able to see Mt. Fuji a couple of times. Here is a view from one of our balconies.

We live much closer to Tokyo than I thought. It is only a 25 minute train ride or so, and that's with all of the stops. So from now on I'm going to claim that my husband and I live in Tokyo, rather than Iruma, because it sounds far cooler and it may as well be true. We've only explored two sections of Tokyo, Ikebukoro and Shinjuku, but both areas have everything a person could want.

I have found that many stereotypes about Japan are true and many are not. For example, yes Hello Kitty is popular. We have seen Hello Kitty hot dogs and toilet paper, but not a whole lot of clothing.

Also, Japanese women are not all tiny, dainty creatures. In fact, I have seen many women who are as tall if not taller than me, and fatter. Even my husband is not so tall here and he's just shy of six feet. I should be able to fit into some of their clothing, which is something I didn't expect to be able to do. However, I have only seen maxi pads, someone might have to ship me some tampons!

There is a lot of gross food around, and one unfortunate night my husband and I accidently ate chicken liver and fried gristle/animal tendons. We went to a restaurant near our home and my husband ordered by pointing to other people's food, which resulted in the fried horror. Everything was in Japanese and no one spoke English so it was the only thing we could do. Thankfully, we had two giant bottles of Kirin beer to wash the fat down. On another night, we went to a bar/restaurant with some people from work, including three Japanese women, and they ordered all kinds of scary food. Delightful dishes of chicken fat and chicken skin, squid guts, and sushi with raw horse meat on top found its way to our table that night.

One strange thing I noticed about some restaurants (and various other businesses) is their choice of music. My husband and I visited this small little place in Ikebukuro (the section of Tokyo nearest us), and while we were enjoying our fried rice alongside Japanese business men, a Ludicrous song came on with the charming lyrics "I got a big weed stash, pocket full of cash, just saw me a big ol ass. It's Saturday! Whooo whooo!" Some of you may know it. It was bizarre.
Getting around on the train/subway is simple enough, although we have not tried to travel too far from our apartment. One evening, we weren't paying attention and rode the train three stops too far, which would not have been a big deal if the trains back had not been shut down for the night. We had our home address with us, written in Japanese no less, but when we tried to take a cab the driver didn't understand. He dropped us off about a mile from our apartment, so we had to wander the streets of Iruma and try to find our place at one in the morning. A nice guy we found on the street pointed us in the right direction, otherwise we could have wandered for hours. That was our biggest adventure in Japan thus far.

See You on the Other Side (Of the World)

2007-02-12T12:22:00.000-05:00

This is the last entry I'm going to post until my husband and I have arrived in Japan. Tomorrow will be a fun-filled day of planes, trains and automobiles, with nearly 24 hours of travel time. Here's the equation:

Charlotte, NC to Detroit (2 hours) + layover in Detroit (4.5 hours) + Detroit to Tokyo (13 hours) + bus/train ride to our apartment (? hours) + random waiting around at various airports and stations (? hours) = 24 hours of travel. So there you have it. I'm sure I'll be one cranky bitch by time we reach our final destination.

We've just about completed last minute details like canceling our cell phones, car insurance, making bank deposits, etc. Last night I sold my car to one of my husband's work friends for a ridiculously low sum, which means I won't be driving again for at least a year. Weird.

I still don't think I fully comprehend the magnitude of what we're about to do, but I'll have to start comprehending pretty damn soon.

Be sure to check back! Although I don't know how soon I'll be able to get online in Japan, I'm certainly going to continue this blog.

Until later..............................

Myspace: A Place to Find Old Friends (And Why You're Not Too Old to Join)

2007-02-08T22:52:00.000-05:00

It seems that everyday there is yet another negative news story about the phenomenally popular website known as MySpace. Whether it's a fifteen-year-old getting molested by someone he or she found on the site, or an employee getting fired for comments posted on a personal profile, MySpace affects lives in a way that most websites cannot.

Despite what the negative publicity might suggest MySpace can be an invaluable site when used sensibly. This is true for users of all ages. While many individuals in their late twenties, thirties, forties and beyond believe MySpace is nothing more than a frivolous site for high school or college students, the site can also benefit adults seeking something more.

While high school and college students might typically use MySpace to hook up with other members or post photos of the latest frat party, many older users have come to realize that MySpace is an invaluable method in tracking down long lost acquaintances. Childhood friends, college roommates, high school pals and first loves might all have MySpace profiles just waiting to be discovered.

MySpace offers many ways to search for old friends. Users can simply type a pal’s first and last name in the “Find a Friend” box and see if their friend is a member. If there are too many people with the same name he or she may narrow the search by focusing on a specific geographic area. If it’s old classmates an individual is seeking, no problem, he or she may simply use the “Classmate Finder” tool to find other users who went to the same school. There are filters to narrow the search by years of attendance or years of graduation and still others that find members by clubs, majors, Greek affiliations and more. All it takes is a little patience and a little time for a user to find a friend or family member he or she hasn’t seen or spoken to in years, and never expected hear from again.

Unlike sites like classmates.com or reunion.com that charge a fee to get in touch with old friends, it’s quick and easy to sign up for MySpace and best of all, it’s free. It’s free to register, free to search, free to send messages or post comments. Every feature of the site is 100% free. MySpace currently boasts approximately 50 million users, with people of all ages signing up daily. While it’s true that most members are at the lower end of the age spectrum, it’s not uncommon to find users in their forties, fifties and beyond.

So to all those people who think they are too old or too mature for MySpace, why not give it try? You might be surprised, and thrilled, at who you find.

Leaving, on a Jet Plane...Don't Know When I'll Be Back Again

2007-02-06T15:35:00.000-05:00

At this time next week, my husband and I will be en route to our new home in the Land of the Rising Sun, otherwise known as Japan. We will not see our cats, family, friends and COUNTRY for one whole year. It's a little weird to think about. I'm used to being apart from my family and friends, since most of them still live in or near my home state of Oklahoma, but the cats and the United States is another story. Who wouldn't miss these adorable, furry faces?

Other than feeling sad about leaving my cats, I am surprisingly calm about the move. After all, people move abroad all of the time and this will undoubtedly be an experience of a lifetime. We're going to meet people from all over the globe, live thirty miles from one of the largest, hippest cities in the world and immerse ourselves in a completely foreign culture. Not bad for two hillbillies from Oklahoma and South Carolina! I'm sure we'll also get homesick and continue our trend of being ridiculously broke, but I don't believe we'll regret our decision to move. All in all, I think it's going to be great. If anything, at least we won't have to hear so much about Paris Hilton. Maybe.

I'm going to post pictures and videos galore, so if you're interested, dear readers, be sure to check back from time to time. My original intent was to remain anonymous, because of the potentially negative reaction my language school employer might have, but I'm not sure if that's going to work for me. What do you think? Should I remain anonymous or come out of the blog closet, so to speak?

Moving On Up (the Stairs)

2007-02-01T16:57:00.000-05:00

Farewell, Charleston!

As of last night, my husband and I are no longer residents of that quaint, Southern city. How I will miss being stuck behind a carriage full of overweight tourists when I am late for work. How I'll long for the mob scene that is the City Market in July. Farewell aggressive palmetto rose children, street performers, tolling church bells and ancient graveyards. I'm being a bit of a smart ass, but I really will miss Charleston and all of my Lowcountry homies. Who knows, maybe my husband and I will return after our Asian adventure. His current post-Japan plan is to move to the Florida Keys and search for treasure. We'll see. That's not exactly a realistic notion.

Last night my boo and I packed/flung our meager belongings into a U-Haul, and then drove the load to my in-laws' beach home in Beaufort (about an hour or so from Charleston). Today we hauled heavy boxes and furniture up two flights of stairs, three if you count the ladder leading to the attic, trying to make it look as if we are not taking over the house. I HATE moving! Fortunately, our cats haven't barfed or crapped on anything yet. I don't want them to do that until after we leave the country. The father-in-law is not so excited about acquiring two new cats. However, my mother-in-law loves animals, and will take excellent care of them. I doubt they'll want to come back with us after living with her for a year.

We have a new laptop!! I sold the desktop on Craigslist two days after listing it and we wasted no time getting to Best Buy. I could go berserk in Best Buy if I had unlimited (or any) funds. I heart electronics. Now if only we could sell our cars...

We got our entry Visas in the mail, so we're now legal to live and work in Japan!

Our Future Home

2007-01-25T11:10:00.000-05:00

Well, the verdict is in. My husband and I will spend the next year of our lives in Iruma, Japan, a smallish city on the far outskirts of Tokyo. According to Wikipedia, Iruma is...

"a city in Saitama Prefecture, near Tokyo, located on the island of Honshū. As of 2003, the city has an estimated population of 150,176. Iruma and neighboring Sayama are famous for the tea they produce. Iruma also has well-known textile and brewery industries."

So far, I've been unable to determine how many miles Iruma is from Tokyo because I suck at judging distances. My guess is that Tokyo is close enough for day trips, but too far to travel for dinner or bar hopping. However, since Iruma is apparently famous for its well-known brewery industries, we'll likely have all the drinks we can handle, right in our own city. The employer also sent us a layout of our apartment and it's either two or three bedrooms, which is larger than any place we've lived in the U.S. Sweet!

Yesterday we received our Certificates of Eligibility in the mail, and now the only thing left to do is send the certificates and various other documents to Atlanta so that we may get our entry Visas. That and pack, move, sell our cars, sell our desktop, buy a laptop, drop off our cats, etc., etc., etc. The trip/move finally seems real now!!

A Confirmed Kill

2007-01-24T16:13:00.000-05:00

Last night, I learned that my younger brother has had a confirmed kill in Iraq. He's in the Marines and was deployed last September, and every time my mother or other brother calls I worry that it's to give me terrible news. Only when I hear them speaking normally do I breathe a sigh of relief.

I can't help but wonder about the man who died, or more specifically, about the family he left behind. Did he have a sister who dreaded her sibling going off to war, a sister like me? If so, what is she feeling now? Does his family even know what happened to him? I realized that it's not so much the man's death that troubles me, as it is the grief his family feels. Because if things had gone differently, it could have been, may one day be, my family and I struggling with overwhelming grief.

When I watch the news every evening, I am sickened to hear about the death tolls in Iraq, and I desperately hope that my brother wasn't one of the ones who died in that day's car bombings, roadside explosions or gun fights. To me, and most of America, the insurgents are nameless, faceless shadows, confirmed kill man included, and it's easy to forget that these men and women, misguided though they may be, are real people with real lives. To someone, confirmed kill man was a brother, father, son or husband, and the realization that MY brother has killed someone else's brother, causing my worst nightmare to became a reality for someone else, makes me uneasy.

That being said, better him than my brother, better his family than ours. That may be selfish, that may be wrong, but that is how I feel.

Hasta La Visa!

2007-01-22T16:26:00.000-05:00

Good news! Our employer called today and we will receive our Visa certificates on Wednesday. Not only that, but we can mail them to the embassy in Atlanta, rather than driving several hours there and back to exchange them in person. Hooray!!!

Pieces of Me

2007-01-21T15:52:00.000-05:00

My husband and I have to be out of our apartment in Charleston by January 31st, ten days from today. This week will be the last at our jobs and when we we'll have to say goodbye to our friends. However, until we go to Japan we'll be staying temporarily in Beaufort, which is only an hour and a half away.
We still haven't heard from our employer about our Visas. An alarming amount of time hasn't passed, but I thought we'd have the Visa certificate by now. I'm not anxious (yet), but I will be if we don't hear something by the end of the month.
I found a couple of blogs written by foreigners living and working in Japan, My Life as a Gaijin and Mike's Blender, in case anyone would like to hear from someone who is already there.
According to various message boards, websites and blogs (like Mike's Blender) some people look down upon the school where my husband and I will be working. The reasons vary, and I think a lot of the negativity stems from "evil corporation" mentalities (the company is huge), however I'd be lying if I said it doesn't bother me. In all honestly we took the jobs so that we could travel and have an adventure, and while we'll certainly work hard to give the students their money's worth, it's not prestige or admiration we're seeking. However, it still bothers me. I'm hyper-sensitive about people not liking me.
Last night, after my husband left the house to play poker with his friends, I went online and bought a new digital camera. Our old camera has a measly 3.2 MP and no optical zoom. The new one has 8 MP and 5X optical zoom. Sweet! My husband wasn't thrilled, but he took it better than I expected. Even though we are broke and can't technically afford new toys, we'll use the hell out of the thing during our travels, and we can't very well wander exotic locales with an obsolete camera. At least that's how I see it.
After researching shipping costs, I found out that it would cost approximately $300 to ship our desktop to Japan. As our computer is only worth $700 or so, that wouldn't be too practical. However, my husband and I simply cannot live without a computer so we'll have to figure something out. My hope is that we'll get a new laptop. He wants to trade our desktop for his parent's laptop. We'll see.

Freaky Friday

2007-01-18T23:57:00.000-05:00

***Warning! This post is Un-PC. If you are easily offended and/or pride yourself on living a life of flawless political correctness, you may not wish to proceed. Thank you.***

I'm fascinated with news stories and television programs about medical oddities. I'll drop everything to watch a show about two-headed babies, parasitic twins, 200 pound tumors and elephantiasis. I've never been to the Mutter Museum in Philadelphia, but I don't doubt that I could spend several hours gawking at the exhibits. My husband thinks my fascination with medical abnormalities is a bit on the demented side, as do a few of my friends, but obviously I'm not the only one into this stuff as TLC and Discovery Health offer a variety of bizarre medical programs. I've enjoyed several such programs lately, thanks to the ridiculous amount of free time I now possess, and it is this same free time that has allowed me to catalogue a few of my favorite oddities for your viewing pleasure. Dear blog readers, I present to you: Lady Wanderlust's Gallery of the Weird and Wonderful.

Many of you have probably heard of the baby girl in Egypt who was born with two heads. If not, you have now. The baby's name is Manar, and according to Snopes, she is 10-months old in this photo. Last night, I watched a show about her birth and separation surgery, and the facts of this case case amazed, as well as disturbed me. Before I saw the program, I thought that the extra head was brain dead, however I was quite mistaken. Both of the twins had fully developed brains and the extra head was conscious. It showed video of the developed twin smiling and the extra head crying. At the same time. The medical professionals in the video said that it was not uncommon for one girl to be asleep and the other awake. That is just creepy. The extra head was living on her twin's blood supply, so doctors had to separate the girls before Manar died, but I want to know what would have happened if they'd remained fused (in the imaginary situation that the extra head was not life threatening). Would the head have been able to speak? The program mentioned a boy in India who lived to the age of four with this same condition, but it didn't say if the extra head could speak or not. The boy died of a snake bite of all things. If you want to look up the show, it is oh so imaginatively titled "Born With Two Heads," and the schedule is listed on Discovery Health's website. If I were the producer I would have called it "Two Heads Are NOT Better Than One." Har har har har!!

A few weeks ago, I saw a program featuring sixteen-year-old conjoined twins that look like a two-headed person. Both girls have their own lungs, hearts and other organs, but everything below the belly button is one. Apparently the girls each control one side of their body, and while you would think this would be cumbersome, they're able to move around like a normal person. The show followed the twins as they earned their driver's licenses, attended classes and chatted on Myspace, (this may or may not be their profile) and I was surprised at how normal they seem and how well their classmates treat them (I'm sure having a camera around didn't hurt). In one segment they flew on a plane, and while the camera didn't really show it, I'm sure people were gawking like crazy. What would you do if you saw a two-headed person in the airport? Of course, one has to wonder how they'll handle dating and sex as they share reproductive organs. I'm sure the twins will have all kinds of nasty perverts after them seeking bragging rights.

Then of course, there are people with massive tumors growing on their body. Some of you may have already seen footage of this girl. I haven't watched any programs discussing tumor abnormalities recently, but Discovery Health and TLC show them from from time to time. There's one called "Super Surgery: 200 Pound Tumor" which features a 120-lb woman with a (surprise, surprise) 200 pound tumor glommed onto her body. Can you imagine?

I've long had a fascination with the medical condition known as fetus-in-fetu. In completely non-scientific terms, fetus-in-fetu is when one twin absorbs the other while in the womb, with the absorbed twin leaving "pieces" behind. At least that's how I understand it. According to an article on TheFetus.net, (who knew there was such a site) fetus-in-fetu is "an encapsulated, pedunculated vertebrate tumor representing a malformed monozygotic, monochorionic diamniotic parasitic twin included in a host (or autosite) twin." Got that? If not, the simple, non-dramatic video above is explanation enough. Quote of the day: "And as the fluid came out, I put my hand inside and to my surprise and horror I could shake hands with somebody inside."

Here are photos of parasitic twins that I found on this site. A parasitic twin is similar to fetus-in-fetu, I think, except the absorbed twin appears on the outside. I just can't help being fascinated...

The site has tons of photos about a variety of medical abnormalities, but that's all I'm going to post today as it's nearly 3:30 in the morning. What a life I lead! Many of you are sure to think I'm demented for my interest in fetus-in-fetu and the like, but oh well. Perhaps I am. Is there anybody else that shares my sick fascination with medical oddities and also willing to admit it? Come on.....

Peace out!

We're Still Waiting...

2007-01-17T11:10:00.000-05:00

As this blog is supposed to be about my life/future life in Japan, I thought I'd give an update on our status. Presently, my husband and I are still waiting to receive our Certificates of Eligibility from Japan. Once we have those, he and I will travel to the Japanese Consulate in Hot-lanta and exchange the certificates for our actual work visas. After that, we buy our plane tickets and go! We should hear something in the next week or so.

At this point, the trip still doesn't seem real to me, even though we're tentatively scheduled to leave in a little less than a month! I think once we get our visas and buy our tickets it will seem more of a definite thing. Meanwhile, we have to be out of our apartment in Charleston in exactly two weeks so there is a lot of packing and organizing to do. After we leave Charleston, my husband and I will stay at my in-laws' beach house in Beaufort until it's time for us to go to Japan. Well, this post is getting boring, so there's your update. Hopefully I'll have some exciting news soon.

Me!! Me!! Meeeeeee!!!!!

2007-01-15T17:28:00.000-05:00

Over 100 Random Things About Me

1. My birthday is Feb 22. I share it with George Washington, Edna St Vincent Millay, Ted Kennedy, and Drew Barrymore, among others.
2. I have two cats King Oreo and Allie Cat
3. I failed my driver's test two times, and when I finally passed the instructor told my father and I that I didn't know how to drive.
4. When I was kid I cracked my left arm while playing tag at church. That's perhaps the most serious injury I've ever had.
5. I am a big ghost nerd and own at least a dozen books that contain so-called "true" ghost stories. I also work at a ghost tour place in downtown Charleston (until Feb. '07 that is).
6. I saw Titanic 7 times in the theater.
7. I have two brothers that are or were in the Marines. One is currently in Iraq, one never had to leave California.
8. My middle name is Jenine and I don't like it.
9. I yearn to travel the world.
10. I once had face fungus!
11. I used to taunt my brothers with a song called "Date Due" based on the date due card in the back of library books. Example: "David is a date due, date due, date due. David is a date due all day long."
12. My first car was an '85 Ford Tempo that I called Ole Bessie.
13. I've been skydiving.
14. Two years after I skydived with the company, one of their planes crashed, killing one and injuring several others. The instructor jumped out, leaving the customers onboard, (they had chutes) and the company had no insurance policy due to non payment. They're still in business.
15. I can barely swim and am wary of deep water. This fear was further aggravated when I saw a man drown in the ocean this past July.
16. I'm allergic to poison ivy. I can get it via the air.
17. I'm horrible at math. I can barely add two digit numbers in my head.
18. I had my first pedicure last month (Dec. '06).
19. I was once arrested for using a fake ID.
20. My favorite author is Stephen King.
21. I love to read about King Henry VIII and his various wives. Anne Boleyn is my favorite historical figure.
22. I was in a church puppet group that traveled around the state and country competing against other church puppet groups. We were called The King's Kids.
23. I have a phobia of fire. As a child, I constantly had nightmares my house burnt down and I used to wander around at night certain that I smelled smoke.
24. My nickname is high school was Ghetto Booty.
25. I used to want to be a cheerleader because I thought it would make me popular.
26. I wish I could dance well. Or at all. Several people have told me that I'm a horrible dancer.
27. Tara Reid annoys the hell out of me.
28. When I was a child all of our pets died premature, gruesome deaths. Heart worms, cars, dogs, disease, culture shock. You name it, we had a pet die of it.
29. As a kid I wrote dozens of scary stories. I once wrote a story about a "horror lump" that grew under a family's carpet.
30. I have approximately ten journals that I kept from second grade to college.
31. In high school I thought I was "alternative," which means I spent a lot of time brooding, listening to Marilyn Manson music and wearing Vans shoes.
32. I've never been able to make straight As in school because of math!
33. I used to stalk a boy that lived behind me. I memorized his class schedule and would "happen" to walk by his classrooms. This was in a junior high.
34. When I first moved to a new high school, I sometimes hid in the bathroom rather than eat in the cafeteria alone.
35. I love amusement parks! Especially roller coasters.
36. I once got 3 tickets in 2 days due to an expired tag and inspection sticker.
37. For Halloween, I've been Jem, a butterfly, a bloody monster, a gypsy, Little Red Riding Hood, and Rainbow Brite, among others.
38. When Britney Spears first came out, people consistently told me that I looked like her.
39. I've quit two jobs by just not showing up or calling.
40. I can't take a shot in a one gulp. I have to sip. Naturally, that means I can't take shots of hard liquor.
41. Cats are my favorite animal by far.
42. I once stole a book and bookmark from the junior high book fair because I wanted to see how it felt.
43. In junior high, I used to go to the roller skating rink almost every weekend.
44. I've applied to Big Brother and The Real World more than once (although now I think The Real World is lame and basically soft porn).
45. My husband knows the runner up in the Miss America 2006 pageant, Monica Pang.
46. Kelly from The Amazing Race 7 supposedly had a crush on him. They danced the night away at prom despite having separate dates. She went on to become Ms. South Carolina (what a pimp).
.47. I love to read other people's blogs. The more personal the better.
48. I've been in a high speed chase.
49. One of my boobs is bigger than the other.
50. My curfew in high school was midnight. My brothers had no curfews.
51. I've only been out of the country twice (so far) and that was to Cancun, Mexico and England.
52. I've tried weed and I hate it.
53. I've passed out one time in my life and that was at an Incubus concert (in the lobby, before the concert began) in front of two cops and approximately 100 people. I wasn't high or anything.
54. I hate walking in water where I can't see the bottom. It grosses me out.
55. I love 80s hair bands.
56. I've never had large groups of friends, but the ones I have I'm very close to and they will likely be friends for life.
57. The friend I've known the longest is D. We met in 2nd grade.
58. The friend I've known the second longest is K. We met in 6th grade
59. They are both on Myspace and on my friends list. I am addicted to Myspace and check it multiple times, everyday.
60. My favorite alcoholic drinks are Red Bull & Vodka and Rum & Coke.
61. I used to have my navel pierced but it fell out before it fully healed and closed up overnight.
62. I used to have my ear cartilage pierced but it hurt like hell so I took it out.
63. I got my ears pierced when I was 8 or 9 and the holes are still there.
64. I frequently mourn the fact that I have no fashion sense and wish I didn't dress so plainly.
65. I weigh 15 pounds more than I did in high school.
66. I despise milk. I can eat it in cereal, refuse to consume it by itself. Nasty!
67. I am terrible with money and owe all of my limbs to various student loan lenders.
68. I like to pick fleas off my cats using a flea comb.
69. As a sophomore, I went to the prom with a German foreign exchange student named Kai.
70. I have fallen over in my chair twice. Once in the middle of class and once in front of a big boss at work. The work chair had wheels.
71. I think MTV has become really lame.
72. I've streaked.
73. I've been skinny dipping.
74. I hate when people order wine at rowdy bars or clubs. I think it's pretentious. Drink beer or liquor!
75. I've ridden to the hospital in an ambulance.
76. I love to read.
77. I hate to cook or clean.
78. I've seen Vanilla Ice perform (way after his peak) and was angry because he wouldn't pay attention to me. He kept staring at the girl next to me and even gave her a bottle of water. I got nothing.
79. I love to travel but flying makes me a bit nervous.
80. I've been to Mardi Gras.
81. Sometimes I think I have heart problems.
82. I've never been in a physical fight with anyone other than my brothers.
83. The only girl who made it known that she did not like me was named Casey. She wrote bitch on my locker and threatened to kick my ass (via her boyfriend who I stalked. See 33).
84. I am a striped! yellow belt in Tai Kwan Do.
85. I changed my college major two times. (Psychology, Journalism, PR).
86. I minored in Spanish but remember next to nothing.
87. I once lived with two males in a trailer, or "manufactured home."
88. I've never been to Las Vegas and I really want to go.
89. I hate to exercise with a passion.
90. I love cherry pie, anything chocolate, and french fries from McDonald's.
91. I've worked at Carl's Jr, a Baptist church camp, Wal-Mart, The Olive Garden, Dillard's, Farmer's Insurance, Mangrove Software, The Child Abuse Council, Mercury Insurance, AIM Healthcare, and now a ghost tour company.
92. I have no idea what I'm going to do when I finish grad school expect not teach.
93. I learned to drive a stick shift when I was 16. My dad made me.
94. I've been in three car accidents. One of which caused me semi-serious injuries.
95. I hate nearly all chiropractors.
96. I hate nearly all "personal-injury" lawyers.
97. I don't have health insurance right now.
98. I think Oklahoma City is better than most people believe it is.
99. I've voted both Republican and Democrat in presidential elections.
100. I like to write about myself.
101. I feel stupid when I have to order coffee in "venti" or "grande" sizes. I think one is supposed to feel sophisticated.
102. I've lived in Oklahoma City, OK, Tampa, FL, and Charleston, SC in the last four years.
103. I used to find the moment when the lights go on and everyone exits the movie theater very awkward and uncomfortable.
104. In high school, I dyed my hair every shade of red possible.
105. I hate watching football!
106. I HATE the tradition at wedding receptions when the DJ or whoever announces the newly married couple as Mr. and Mrs. Groom's First Name, Groom's Last Name. For example, Mr. and Mrs. Joe Blow. It's as if the woman loses every speck of her identity once she is married. I forbade the officiant from addressing us that way at our wedding.
107. Sir Mix A Lot's 'Baby Got Back' is the only song guaranteed to get my "dancing" at a club.
108. I like to google people I know or used to know.
109. I spend HOURS searching for random people on Myspace and get really excited when I find one person after three hours of fruitless hunting.
110. Through Myspace, I have reconnected with three cousins, an aunt, two third cousins, a girl I haven't seen since 4th grade and one since 6th, old sorority/fraternity buddies, high school friends, and various other random people.
111. I despise the phrase "preggers."
112. I like getting emails that I know are urban legends and then proving them wrong via snopes.com

Picture This

2007-01-09T23:15:00.000-05:00

Have you ever looked through your photos and wondered about the strangers in the background? Have you asked yourself, who is that person? Why is she making that strange face? What is he staring at? Have you ever wondered how many times you appear in a stranger's photo looking silly?

Well I do. And while you probably don't assemble, scan and post such photos, I am just that bored tonight. Here are some photos of random background people that make me laugh:

At what is this fellow gazing so contentedly?

Drunken female dancing, of course!

The dude in this photo is much less impressed.

After all, this photo was taken at Banana Joe's in Tampa, FL. Home of the lesbian cheerleader incident. PS: The girl, uh, bending over is not me.

This guy came out of nowhere when I was trying to take a picture of my friend dancing.

Nothing says patriotism like wearing flag pants to the club!

When I first saw this photo I assumed Mr. Bunny Ears was a friend of the other girls, but it turns out that he's just some random guy.

The couple in the background makes me laugh for some reason (although we aren't looking too cool ourselves).

He looks deranged. Or high.

D's dancing causes men to grimace in terror.

Eeek!

This giant isn't sure what's going on behind him.

The guy in the back looks terrified!

Help Me!!!

This photo contains my favorite random background person....

He's wearing a kilt with some sort of weird suspender things! I suppose it could be a wax figure rather than a real person. I can't be sure. However, I like to believe it's a live man.

Anyone else notice weird looking people lurking in the background of your photos? If so, do share!

Blahg

2007-01-06T00:47:00.000-05:00

Well, I don't have a whole lot going on right now. I spend my days watching court reality shows and entering random sweepstakes, my nights working at the ghost tour company downtown. In addition, I've wasted countless hours reading strangers' blogs, stalking people on Myspace and viewing skydiving mishaps on You Tube. Fruitful times indeed. These are the days of nothing that I longed for as a graduate student, but which seem long and boring now that they are reality.

In nerdier news, I'm also trying to learn this. Hiragana. Apparently, the Japanese use three different syllabaries or system of characters: Hiragana, Katakana and Kanji. Kanji is the one with thousands of characters that foreigners like me have virtually no hope of learning, so naturally it is the one used most often. Katakana is used to represent foreign words, while Hiragana serves to indicate the readings of Kanji or to replace Kanji all together. This information I learned from the website of my employer, and I don't quite understand the differences yet. I've chosen to learn Hiragana first because apparently that is where Japanese language students are supposed to start, and because many train station signs are printed in Hiragana as well as Kanji. That sounds rather useful. I've memorized nearly all of the characters and their corresponding syllables, so I could likely figure out how a word written in Hiragana is pronounced, I'd just have no idea what it meant.

Hiragana appears in this strange little video. I recognize all but two of the characters.

I can't wait to get to Japan and see this stuff for myself! Too, too funny.

Humping Tourette's Syndrome

2007-01-01T16:54:00.000-05:00

I have a rather ridiculous problem that I like to refer to as the Humping Tourette's Syndrome. I don't mean humping as in the literal act of sex, but rather the act of furiously pumping my crotch back and forth in order to represent the act of sex. If I have a few beers in me I never know when an attack might occur, but when one does it is always at a highly inappropriate time, although I'm uncertain if there is ever an appropriate time for feigned humping.

Last night my husband's friend joined a group of us at a local bar for New Year's Eve. He is the same friend who had sexual relations with my married friend at our wedding after party, and a few girls in the group knew of his philandering. In fact, we had discussed it earlier in the evening. When he arrived at the bar, my husband brought him over to our table to make introductions, but before he could begin I shrieked, "HEY! HEY! This is the guy!" and followed with frenzied humping motions. The five or so girls at the table exploded with laughter and/or looked at me as if I were insane, my hubby's poor friend turned around and walked away and I felt like the biggest dumb ass alive. I seriously had no idea I was going to do that. I just turned around, saw him and immediately began making humping motions like some sort of crazed banshee. The attacks always come without warning.

At my wedding reception two weeks ago, I made humping motions in front of my mother when talking about consummating our marriage. Fortunately she's used to my odd behavior and didn't appear too shocked, although my friends found it awkward. I've humped the air while singing Hangin' Tough at a karaoke bar (on stage of course) and while recounting the karaoke incident to others. I just have no control over the motions of my crotch sometimes. It's a dilemma indeed. Anyone else share this problem?

The Asian City That Never Sleeps

2006-12-29T14:14:00.000-05:00

Yesterday my husband and I each got emails informing us that our tentative departure date for Japan is February 13th. Yipeeee!! If we meet this departure date, I'll spend my 27th birthday there which should make it fun and rather memorable. I can't even remember what I did for my birthday last year. In any case, our port of entry is Narita, near Tokyo, which means we will be living and working somewhere in North/East Japan. That still leaves a huge area for potential assignments, but at least we can eliminate approximately half of the country. We won't actually know our city, town or village assignment until two weeks before we leave, which I'm sure will drive us crazy. My husband is set on Tokyo, but I don't want to get my hopes up because I don't think we'll get it. I'd feel like hot shit if we did though, and if we could live successfully in Tokyo I wouldn't feel intimated by any city or place ever again. The next time I heard some arrogant New Yorker talking about how you have to be special to make it in New York City (implying us hillbillies in Charleston or Oklahoma City or wherever would never last), I'd be able to think, or say, "Screw you, we lived in Tokyo for a year." Not that I hate New Yorkers, it's just a pet peeve of mine when they behave as if they are superior, same with L.A. folk. Okay, enough of that rant. I'll keep you posted...

The Spirit of the Season

2006-12-27T12:31:00.000-05:00

Well, Christmas has come and gone once again. In a way, I wish I was one of those people who ooze holiday spirit and goodwill toward men this time of year, but I definitely do not. I don't revel in holiday songs, I don't ohhh and ahhh at holiday lights, I don't bake gingerbread men or sugar cookies. Instead I grumble about the extra people at the mall and resent having to buy gifts and mail holiday cards. I am just a regular old Grinch. Perhaps my one redeeming quality, is that I enjoy spending time with family (especially my husband's) and eating Christmas dinner. I also like Christmas parties and the alcohol that comes with them.

This Christmas went well. On Christmas Eve, my husband and I drove to Greenville to spend the holiday with his family. His dad had enjoyed a cup of more of his favorite drink, Scotch and water, so he was especially jolly and made dinner for the two of us. We slept in the next day and opened presents around one. I got towels, an everlasting nail file, pajamas, a throw blanket, a book about Japan and a nice winter coat. I haven't had a coat in years. Not since my dad's psycho ex-girlfriend bought me a bunch of clothes for Christmas in 1998 or '99. A month or so later she tried to run my dad down with her car, so needless to say that was the last Christmas we spent with her.

The rest of our visit was uneventful. My boss called on Christmas day to try and get me to work the next afternoon but I stalled and he found someone else to do it. We visited various stores the day after Christmas and my mother-in-law bought us a few goodies. My husband and I ate lunch with his father at a Cajun restaurant. My dad called to wish me a merry Christmas, and to tell me he was mailing us a check for a wedding/Christmas present. We visited one of my husband's friends and the two boys spent hours watching football and playing Xbox 360. Good times.

Up next is New Years Eve. As usual, my husband and I have no idea what we're going to do. In the past two or three years, I've come to dislike New Years because of all the pressure there is to have the best night ever. I don't know about everybody else, but nearly all of my New Years have failed to be all that the night is supposed to be. Last year, my husband and I went to another couple's home and spent the night drinking beer, playing board games and waving sparklers around. It was a pleasant enough night, but I felt that we were missing out on something and that we had truly become old. We shall see what this year brings...

A Wedding Story

2006-12-22T13:29:00.000-05:00

My beau and I got engaged in April 2006, and basically had no idea what to do after that. Initially, we planned to move back to Florida and have a wedding there, but then Japan became a thing and it seemed sensible to get married before we left the country for a year. Plus, we just wanted to be married and not have the weight of planning a wedding hanging over our heads. After months of indecisiveness, my significant other and I finally decided to have a small, casual wedding at a local beach with as little expense as possible (that was the plan anyway). I say we, but I am actually the one that made all of the wedding plans, and even that is a stretch because it was my girlfriends who came up with the idea for a beach wedding. One of them even chose the date, December 16th.

We/they came up with the idea in October. Three other girls and I had just gotten done taking the Comprehensive Exam for our Masters degrees and went to a local bar to celebrate. We started talking about what I wanted for my wedding and they soon realized I had no clue how to plan a wedding and that I basically needed someone to tell me what to do. One of the girls suggested that we rent a large beach house in December where friends and family could stay, have the wedding on the beach and then a reception in the home. The three of them promised to help any way they could, and so the wedding planning began.

This is the beach house we ended up renting. I found it on vrbo.com.

It has seven bedrooms and six and a half bathrooms, so there was lots of space for people to gather, and plenty of room for friends and family to spend the night. In the summer, we would have had to pay five times the rental price we did, so that was one perk about having a beach wedding in late fall. The last photo was taken from the upper patio on the day of our wedding. We were taking quite a gamble having an outdoor wedding in December, but it was a bright and sunny, with temperatures in the mid-70s so the ceremony was more than I could have hoped for.

Here I am walking down the "aisle:"

The ceremony itself was around five minutes, short and simple, just how we wanted it. We didn't have a wedding party or anything like that. I was unsure what to expect of the wedding officiant, seeing as I hired him from a website called mobilemarriage.com and never met him until he came to marry us, but the guy was friendly, professional and well dressed and several people remarked about how good he was.

For the reception, or "wedding celebration" as I dubbed it, we rented two kegs and bought a case of wine for alcohol. We ended up having far too much and the next day my husband groaned about having to pour out all of the extra beer. We ordered party platters for food and my husband's mother also prepared ham and shrimp and bought us a professionally made wedding cake. I was too wound up to eat much, but our guests seemed to like the spread.

I was so touched at how helpful all of my friends and mother-in-law were. One girl was up at 3 the night before, sweeping the floors, another came by early to set up a champagne station and help my mother-in-law prepare the food, another more or less acted as the wedding coordinator, shuffling people around, making suggestions/issuing orders, running errands for me, etc. My Martha Stewart mother-in-law amazed me with her crafty decorations and food preparations. All of the details I spent hours worrying about before the wedding seemed to magically take care of themselves, although I know it was my friends and mother-in-law that did most of it. The wedding made me realize what great friends I have. All in all, the ceremony and reception went great and were better than I could have possibly imagined.

Of course, not everything went perfectly. Here are some amusing (and not so amusing) mishaps and anecdotes:

On the invitations, which I printed myself, I mistakenly typed the year two thousand and twenty six rather than two thousand and six, and didn't realize it until it was too late. Most people either didn't notice, or were too polite to say anything, although my brother and cousin gave me a hard time about it.

My mother and aunt booked plane tickets to Charleston, WV rather than Charleston, SC and did not realize their mistake until they were in Houston, ready to make their connection. There had been severe fog in Houston earlier that day and many flights had been delayed or canceled, so the airlines were filling the later flights with passengers who had been scheduled to fly out earlier. Therefore, everything appeared to be full and they thought they might have to spend the night in Houston. My mother calls me three hours before I am expecting her, (she was due to arrive at 11:20 p.m.) tells me she booked a ticket to the wrong city and then hangs up. Needless to say I was quite disturbed. She then calls four or five more times asking how far Charleston is from various cities, but all of the city she names are seven or more hours away. After much hysterics, they get a flight to Columbia, which is approximately two hours from Charleston and I am able to pick them up and bring them to the beach house late that night. They didn't have any luggage and we didn't get back until 3 a.m., but they were there by Jove! And thank god, because if they hadn't made I would have had zero family members at my wedding.

After my new husband and I left the beach house to spend the night at an inn downtown, one of our friends (who is married) had sex with one of our other friends (not his/her spouse) in the bedroom next to my mother's. Two of my husband's friends watched the whole thing from the porch outside and later describe it as wild, animal sex. The next day, my mother tells me about an "earthquake" she felt late at night and how she just couldn't figure out what it was. After the friends leave the next day, my aunt moves into the sex room and sleeps in the bed where the "railing" took place. I of course don't tell my mom or aunt what transpired there, and they would never in a hundred years guess. Now, one of the friends says he/she can't stop thinking about how good the other was in bed, and how his/her spouse just doesn't do the trick. I ask you ,what better way to celebrate a wedding than to commit adultery at the reception?

The only thing about the wedding that disappointed me was the lack of attendance by my family. My mother and my aunt were the only family members that came which was something I did not foresee when I began planning. I foolishly assumed that my grandparents and brother and father and aunts and cousins would attend. Wrong-o. One set of grandparents said they were "poor pensioners" who could not afford to attend. I might find this more convincing if I didn't know for a fact that they regularly drove from Oklahoma to Memphis to visit my aunt and cousin. They even came to Memphis for my cousin's high school graduation from HOME SCHOOL! I am more forgiving of my grandmothers in Missouri because both are in bad health and don't travel well. My dad couldn't come because he just started a job as a truck driver and supposedly could not get off work. I'm not so sure I believe him, and even so it's his only daughter's wedding. Whatever. My one brother also started a new job that allegedly prevented him from coming and I let him know just what I think about that. My other brother is fighting the war in Iraq so he is naturally excused. My aunt, uncle and cousin in Savannah said they were coming, (it's only a two hour drive) but they didn't show up and I have yet to hear why. This annoys me because we have visited them in Georgia two or three times, once to go to their re-wedding (long story), but they don't bother to come to mine even though I twice confirmed with my aunt that she was coming. Two of my best friends in Oklahoma also didn't come because of money issues. I am starting to get worked up again, so I'll stop now. As of yet, most of the no shows have yet to even send a card or a gift. My husband says my family sucks. He's right.

However, I don't want to end on a sour note. While I was disappointed with my family, many of my husband's attended and they were all happy to welcome me into their clan. I love his immediate family and couldn't have found better in-laws if I tried. Seriously. Okay, enough sap and wedding babble. Here are some additional photos:

Until next time...

First Post

2006-12-20T10:37:00.000-05:00

Well, I've began blogs before and then eventually abandoned them so I hope this time will be different. I suppose I should introduce myself....

My name is Lady Wanderlust (not really, obviously, but for the purposes of this blog). I'm 26, nearly 27 years old, and I live in Charleston, SC. This past week has been rather eventful for me as I got hitched on Saturday and graduated with a Master's degree on Sunday. I married my boyfriend of four years on December 16th, so as of today I've been married four days! We don't have a honeymoon planned, at least not yet, so life is pretty much back to normal now that our friends and family have returned home. Currently, my husband (that is the first time I've referred to him as such!) is at work and I am sitting in our apartment realizing I have nothing at all to do for the next month or so.

This is a strange feeling for me because ever since I began my last semester of graduate school in August, I've been rushing around preparing for the next big thing. I had an internship that was basically a part-time job, an actual part-time job for a company in its busy season, two graduate classes with a heavy reading load, a Comprehensive Exam to pass, and a wedding to plan. Now that all that is over and I'm not quite sure what to do with myself. All the free time is nice in a way, but it's also boring. However, it won't last too long.

Sometime in February, my husband and I will go to Japan for a year to teach English at one of the many language schools there. I started this blog because I'd like to record our experiences there and hopefully entertain some people in the process. Up until now, I really haven't had much time to think about the trip, and even now it seems like some distant, unreal thing in the future. Right now our Visa paperwork is in Japan, awaiting approval from Japanese officials. After that, we find out where we'll live and our exact departure date. My husband and I are hoping for a large city, Tokyo or Osaka or something, although we won't find out where we're going until two weeks before we leave, which makes things interesting. I have no idea what to expect, but my husband and I want to have an adventure, and moving to a foreign city for a year should certainly be one.

He and I have always done things a little differently than everyone else. Most people we know have been married for a year or two, own nice homes, hold good jobs and are just beginning to start a family. We just got married, rent a small, dumpy apartment, hold insignificant part-time jobs and can't fathom having children. We also have this burning desire to travel the world and are terrified that if we don't do it now we never will. Most people seem to admire this, but a lot of them also seem to think it's a bit strange or irresponsible. They don't actually say that, but I sense it sometimes. Who knows, maybe I'm being paranoid.

Well, I guess that's it for my first entry. Although I've created this blog for myself in a way, I'd love to get feedback from whatever readers might stumble across this page.

Until next time....