The Joys of Teaching...

(In a conversation about when I started teaching)

Student: Your face used to be hard.
Me: Hard?! What do you mean?
Student: It looked hard. Your face didn't move.
Me: What about now? Is it still hard?
Student: No, it's soft. It moves.

(During a lesson about abilities)

(Male) Student: Can you cook?
Me: No. I'm terrible.
Student (in utter amazement): Really?
Me: Yes, really. Why are you so surprised?
Student (points and grunts): Woman!

(During a special topics class about American cowboy culture)

Me (to class): So, what do you think about the cowboy lifestyle?
Student: It sounds stupid.

(At the beginning of a lesson, for no reason whatsoever...)

Student: You look tired?
Me: Really? I'm not tired.
Student: You should use more face cream. And powder.